2015 ... Ze End

Dear 2015,

I'm not sad to see you go.  Much like your sibling 2014 you sort of sucked too.  But not completely.  I thought 2014 was the year that rattled me but no, I now realize or have rather confirmed that 2014 was the calm before the storm. 

See 2015 you started off pretty decently.  New year, new you, really and in January I was on target with my short stories, my blogging and life was still pretty decent even though I did have my niece.  But I was adjusting, after all I think she'd been with me since 11/2014 or right around her break.

February was much of the same.  Still blogging daily and attempting to catch up with the short stories but something else happened this month.  I officially became a WF associate, no longer a temp/contractor, woo hoo. 

What better way to celebrate turning 30 and having actual PTO for the first time in my life by taking an epic road trip/"just turned 30" tour.  Instead most of March is spent in a hospital visiting my grandma who had two strokes in the span of a week. 

In April when she released and comes to live in my two bedroom apartment with me, my mom, and niece... well so starts the epic (continuing) saga of me adjusting what my 'new normal' is.  There's bathing to be done, prescriptions to fill, PT exercises to be done, school functions to attend, dr appointment be made, etc etc ec and through the mist of it I'm working from home tackling one of two major field facing projects on my plate at work.  Fun times. 

I don't remember May.  Not much of June (other than part one of my big project rolled out and I was nominated for employee of the month).  Nor July other than the fact I returned back to work.

I'm sure 2015, that during these months that the following occurred:
- House hunting
- Frustration from House Hunting
- Second guessing from House Hunting
- Crying from house hunting and life in general
- Lots of manga reading / book reading / escaping reality
- Short story surge in July

Apparently I lost weight.  Despite all the stress eating and drinking of Cranberry Ginger Ale my body saw fit to lose about 10 lbs that I hadn't observed but others did when I returned. 

But in August, finally, I thought I'd found the one.  The house that would accommodate everyone and had plenty of space.  I booked a trip to Beantown,  Arranged for care for my grandma and my niece and just had to wait on closing toward the end of the month.  Except fate didn't see fit that this house was the one.  So back to shopping, back to frustration, back to fantasizing about simpler times. 

So you can't blame me for being a bit hesitant 2015.  When in September I had another closing from having found another house that seemed like a good fit.  In fact I'd noticed this particular house before and remembered thinking 'this is the one' but for whatever reason hadn't pursued it but here it was and so was I.  No sooner had I returned from Boston was I preparing for a closing that actually happened. 

October was stress, stress packing, packing, stress, and more stress but we got moved in.  There's still much to do but 2015 you did bring this, after years of on again/ off again searching I'd finally committed.  You also saw fit to make work become extra crazy when the second of my two large projects suddenly got really important and had some high ups involved.  But I weathered the storm and made it out.  Though the efforts for it wouldn't slow down until early December.  Celebrated birthdays and tried constantly to work back toward that inner peace / the piece of me I felt that had wandered elsewhere. 

November = Nano.  A successful one since I did start something new, didn't complete it, but its still on the radar and something I intend to see all way through. 

And December, after months of mental gestation I found my way back to MD.  I found my way back to a lot of places.  Every day is  a struggle for that calm 2015 but I feel it trying to stay, I feel like it's trying to be consistent and I think it's because my 'new normal' is slowly just settling itself into being what is.

2016 - Here's to hoping to continue to grow! 

Sincerely,
Me