Monday, November 9, 2015

Day 9 of Nano: So behind (by about 10k)

Had a productive day yesterday with nano, wrote a little over 3k.  Tonight I'm feeling a wee bit tired so I'm going to just try for 500 words at least.  I still plan on targeting the revision completion for MD and a first draft of B2S but I'll be happy if I was able to at least complete one for the month.

And the Scrivener snapshot -

Also I'm fairly certain I might not have another short story in me for this year.  Well actually I have 3 that I started and never got around to finishing.  Hopefully I'll at least see those through to the end. 

Friday, October 23, 2015

Still alive and ZOMG it's almost Nano!

I am alive.

Though I read a post on facebook where someone said something along the lines of "Dead people don't know they're dead but others do.  The same can be said about stupid people."

That made me laugh, probably shouldn't have but this week has been for the birds.  But before I launch into that here's sort of a really quick highlight reel from the last time I posted:

- Original close date
- House deck go bye bye
- Financing from Wells Fargo go bye bye
- Denise's tiny bit of sanity go bye bye (I remember walking in the parking lot at work trying to calm down and stop crying)
- Lots of tears this month

- Vacay.. YAY!
- Really short, super short vacay as in 2 days in Boston, 2 days in CT, 2 days at the airport due to delays
    - Finished reading a book though
- Ninja negotiator real estate extraordinaire works another financing partner onboard
- Denise's tiny bit of sanity returns then immediately goes on hiatus
- Lots of reading of ze romance sort...  Which strangely has been helpful in the mental gestation for a few projects on the hopper
- Probably some tears from me as well as making others cry because I'm evil
- Closed on ze house!

- Very trying, tiring, and just... -_-
- Craziness at work with projects that I have the lead which both have senior management tied to it
   - Spent yesterday at my cube crying (though I think there were other reasons for why I was so emotional)
- Opened a line of credit in order to purchase my first ever washer, dryer, and fridge.. Thanks Sears :)
- Joined the century and got a smartphone (iPhone 6s and left At&T after 15+ years to join Sprint)
- Read some books
- Nano... nano... nano... what to write... Or maybe not (?)
- The new Adele song "Hello" = awesome; and not be confused with Mr. Ritchie's "Hello", this is an original
- More tears and making others upset because I am evil

Actually a lot has happened with the last week but I'll comment on the positive things such as sealing the deal November entitlements after holding it up for said project I'm on.  Parent teacher conferences this week with the niece and one of the staff there just give me huge kudos with my niece because they've seen a change in her since she's come to stay with me.  And basically she let me know they think what I'm doing is wonderful and just a lot of praise.

I also heard from a friend of mine that I hadn't and he gave me a really nice compliment after reading all of my short stories posted on here.  I should probably create a shirt that says "I will smile endlessly for reading and/or complimenting my stories."

Well it's a release night that'll probably be starting soon.

I'm still not sure about Nano this year.  I want to and have an idea of what I could write, something in the romance range since I think I can tackle it now after reading so much of it in the last few months.  I'm also pretty sure I will not succeed in getting in my 52 short stories in 52 weeks but I'll manage to post some more that I had open before the year is out.

And lastly I have 2 months to make my one resolution.  So I think if I do nano it might be to work on continued revision of MD but we'll see.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Three Good Things: 8/11/15

1.  Team Member of the Month for July at Work (found out yesterday but it was announced today)
2.  Discovering extra money that I can use toward the house (again this was yesterday but still happy today about that).
3. Finally completing Strengthfinders (which I did today and apparently one of the results is that I'm an Achiever.... definitely agree)

I don't think too deeply about, well not until I read my results but I knew I was results-focused as in I struggle if I can complete or check something off as done BUT the fact I need to have achieved something everyday, no matter how small, was news to me.  However I think about it and it's pretty accurate and I get a funky mood if I feel I haven't been productive for the day and will often overcompensate the next day to make up for it.

It's like every day I have a checklist, some of it is routine and some of it is specific to that day (mostly from work) but everyday there's something and today was a good day because I got a lot of items done.  The weekend was awesome because I scratched off a lot of to do items from my hand written note despite the bits of drama that came with it but that's another story.

And today knowing I successfully followed up on documentation with the house paperwork.  I feel as though I've reached a point where I'm on standby mode awaiting further instruction.

At any rate I'm pretty excited to read more of my results later today or this week.

So the not so good things that's occurred-

Earlier this year someone mysteriously smashed in the laptop I used to do most of my writing on which had put a hinderance to that but no biggie, I had another laptop to use that I could at least access Google Docs with.  Well my niece dropped that one on Sunday and it hasn't come back on since :(

I had actually JUST made the final payment to Best Buy on it a couple weeks back so I'll probably have to shop around or see about getting one (or both fixed).

Yesterday I was having a pretty good day as well, given the surprise I'd been nominated as team member of the month.  So I thought I'd order out since I left work late only to get a plethora of calls that my grandma was on the floor at the apartment :( :( :(

Not fun times but my sister came over and helped me get her up but it did put a damper on the day.

Aside from that I'm hoping to make some more plot points for one of my novels that I had an idea about this morning.  AND try to get another short story posted soon.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Three Good Things: 7/30/15

So I probably won't be able to get to posting the short story tonight and instead reflect on 3 good things today:

1.  SS - It's nice to receive good feedback/healthy criticism and recently I've been sharing my short stories.   And it was nice to read that a friend of mine enjoyed one of my fave short stories I've written for the year.  Actually of my short stories thus far I've figured my favorites so far have been Ned Finally Died, The Job, Haunter's Anon (at least the concept of it), and Clifford's Baby.

2.  Work - I had an hour meeting with one of my projects.  It was a follow up meeting I'd been putting off since I knew it would take a lot to work through everything and we took the whole hour plus needed more time to be frank but I hit my deliverables associated with the meeting, ran it, and feeling good even though the scope of the project has expanded.  I'm not big on public speaking so I always get anxiety whenever I know I'll have to speak but I made it through :)

3.  House update - So this can sort of b.  Ie a testament to the week but in trying to potentially close sooner rather than later I got my earnest money into my agent, submitted an app to another lender to see what they might offer (vs the discount I get with my job), and submitted some of my docs I needed.  Tomorrow I'm planning to submit for the appraisal and hopefully know which company I'll be moving forward with. 

I also had a realization tonight.  And it wasn't so much a realization but a confirmation of something I'd been thinking for awhile.  Once I finish my revision with TYW if the traditional route doesn't work out I'll probably self-publish it.  Once I get to the part where I'm querying or a little before I'll probably start looking more into the marketing aspect and figuring out what I'm comfortable (and capable) of actually doing. 

Anywho need to do a couple more errands tonight and try to head to bed.  Will hopefully be shooting out of work early tomorrow so I can go to the library and work on my short story. 

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

52 Week Update / Short Story Challenge - July 29 ... And randomness

I had intended to post a new short story tonight.  Figuring that tonight I would have time to do something I wanted (like read a book or write) since Monday night I was tied up with the house inspection and last night I was tied up at the laundry mat.  I even bought food thinking I'd buy myself time versus experimenting with new dishes like I did on Mon and Tues.  But nope.  I snuck in a few pages of reading before hearing my name called out for one thing, then another thing, then another thing and oh, it's Wednesday so need to do the meds again, still need to do the dishes/clean and get to bed at a decent time so I can wake up and do it all over again. 

At any rate I'm still behind.  According to this site it's week 31.  I'm definitely cranking out some short stories (5 so far this month and 2 in the works) but I still need to catch up.  Typically there are 52 weeks in a year but apparently in 2015 there are actually 53.  Just dropped a random fact ^_^ But I guess this also means I'll have 53 short stories when it's all said and done?  Or maybe a free week once I get myself back on track? 

Who knows but here's what been posted to date-

Week 1 (1/1 - 1/7) - Ned Finally Died (a story spurred by NPR)
Week 2 (1/8 - 1/14) - LLFH:  Broken Things (side story for another project)
Week 3 (1/15 - 1/21) - The Confession (office crushes)
Week 4 (1/22 - 1/28) - The Garden:  OTTM Side Story (side story brought to you by The Order)
Week 5 (1/29 - 2/4) - Haunters Anon (Haunters Anonymous, 'nuff said)
Week 6 (2/5 - 2/11) - Polluted (posted 3/19) ... (teens doing teen conjuring things)
Week 7 (2/12 - 2/18) - The Job: A Justice for First Wives Side Story (posted 3/22) ... (mistress novel)
Week 8 (2/19 - 2/25) - Serial Beauty: Lucky #11 (posted 3/23) ... (serial killer artist)
Week 9 (2/26 - 3/4) - Doctor P (posted 7/15) (day in the life of a poop doctor)
Week 10 (3/5 - 3/11) -  Clifford's Baby (posted 7/16)... (Clifford and his stolen baby)
Week 11 (3/12 - 3/18) - A Bot Love (posted 7/18)... (Nerd love connection)
Week 12 (3/19 - 3/25) - Hangover (posted 7/19)... (Drunk love connection)
Week 13 (3/26 - 4/1) - Secrets (posted 7/27)... (talking secrets over frozen coffee)
Week 14 (coming soon to a blog near year) -
Week 15 (please stand by for the feature) -
Week 16 (it's still being conjured) -
Week 17 (just playing the field for now) -
Week 18 (just not into the blog thing) -
Week 19 (wants to commit but hates the idea of being 'committed'; not a fan of labels) -
Week 20 (what?!  there are 20?) -

So technically I got to write tonight.  I'm counting this blog entry darnit.  I did some writing.  Still need to do writing for nano though :(  Another 2k ish before I hit my 10k writing goal for this month.  Hopefully these next 2 shorts stories will get me there. 

Monday, July 27, 2015

Week 13: Secrets

WC: 800 Words

                Frankie Thorn had a secret.  Twiddling with her fingers she removed a ring and slipped it into her pocket.  “All the good ones have some dark harbored past.  Give me a bad guy any day,” Frankie said as she sipped her frozen fufu coffee.  “I’m just saying think about it.  Every decent guy you’ve approved of has not worked out.”
                Finch Thorn, Frankie’s twin, had a secret too.  “Approve is a relative term.  Dan wasn’t half bad.”
                “What’s your definition of half bad,” Frankie asked raising her recently pierced brow, she winced from the motion.
                “You know Mom’s going to just love that you finally put a hole in your face,” Finch said as he drank from her cup.
                Shrugging, “What can I say Christmas came early for Mom.”
                They laughed lightly but the truth found them in the awkward silence that followed.  Frankie reached to retrieve her cup, her free hand twiddling with the ring in her pocket once more.  Feeling the sun warm her skin emboldened her next words as she searched for the courage, “Now,” she started taking a tentative sip, “I’m assuming you’re going to tell me who you really are?”
                Finch looked across the table at the girl he’d called his sister for the last year but shook his head, “No, not really.”
                “Then what reason-”
                “When?  When did you figure it out,” Finch said as he reached for her cup again.  Frankie’s eyes followed his every move.  “How did you know exactly?  I watched your brother, your entire family, I am curious to know if the twin bond is so strong?”
                Frankie watched as he drank from her cup once more.  “Maybe just a little bit of that -”
                “But where’s my brother.”
                “He’s somewhere safe, much safer than here.  You know this planet doesn’t have much time left,” Finch said as he drank more.  It was then he reflected how he’d likely miss her taste in drinks.  She never went wrong in that way but how she’d known still plagued him.  Fake Finch started to suspect he might not actually discover the fatal flaw until he caught her eyes on him and the cup.  He smiled. 
                “What do you mean,” Frankie asked as she leaned in closer.  The spirals in her long black hair had fallen, her sunglasses pushed onto her forehead had crept forward.  She stayed hidden as Fake Finch stared at her and for a moment her mind wondered what if he knows…
                “Exactly that,” he said finishing her drink.  As Fake Finch stood Frankie followed suit.  Her hair in tumbles because she knew this was her only chance.
                She rushed to his side of the table for a goodbye hug, “Please, I- I just want my brother back.”
                Fake Finch smiled and shook his head, “The assignments over-”
                “What are you going to do to him?”
                Fake Finch brow arched, “You can always find out.  It might turn out to be a better set up when you think about it.  You pick- die here or out there?” Fake Finch said looking toward the sky. 
                “What are you… really?” Frankie’s voice fell to a deathly whisper, not afraid of the answer but afraid that maybe he might see past her.  That he might figure it out.  She let one hand fall to the side and reached into her pocket once more.  The ring was like a talisman, she pulled power from it and as she watched Fake Finch ponder the answer she worried if she’d be able to keep her own promise.
                “Take me instead,” Frankie burst out as Fake Finch opened his mouth. 
                Fake Finch considered her words and without another walked away.  Frankie watched as he weaved the cafĂ© tables to the exit and at the gate he stopped.  He waited and Frankie rushed over.  As she grabbed hold of her fake brother’s hand she took in the sights of this planet once more.  It had been home for a long time. 
                Frankie and Finch were placed on assignment centuries ago, often choosing their host carefully but now it was in jeopardy.  Frankie found her ring and slipped it on.
                It was at an abandoned warehouse where they finally stopped.  Fake Finch pulled a key from his pocket and undid the chains.  “You know what’s odd?  I’ve always thought you somehow knew.  It was as though you knew my secret the entire time.”
                “Give me a bad guy any day,” she smiled nervous that if she spoke any more her mouth might betray her.  Afraid she might not ever see Finch again.  As it was Fake Finch took her words without question and let it go. 

                Frankie twisted the ring on her finger and held onto her secret once more as she left one world behind and entered another.    

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Making Time for Creativity / Never Giving Up

Saw this over on  and thought it was well worth sharing.

Click the link to see the full comic... as I'm too lazy to copy all the images here and plus support the writer/artist (with views and such ^_^)

Is that not worth exploring?

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Three Good Things 7/21/15

So I think whenever I don't have a legit post or short story to post I'll just do filler. 

Filler = posting something random.

Posting something random = three good things that happened today.

Posting something random = other random things.

Three Good Things:
1.  I had a writing prompt yesterday that I started and couldn't get anywhere but then this morning while riding the bus a story started filling in and I realized it was the back story for one of my character in a novel I have yet to write.  So before I cracked open my bus book I started writing with NPR playing in the background and fought the sleepiness.  Now I just need to type it and finish up the story now that I've figured it out.

2.  GinH - pronounced sort of like Gina (aka Dawn).  Very interesting person I met while waiting on this evening (I actually missed two busses).  At any rate we had just a very open conversation about escaping Missouri (Misery), her transition (from MtF) and the insecurities with it, jobs, and just other stuff.  Also it's been awhile since I've had someone ask me if I were mixed or my heritage/ethnic profile but she complimented my eyes.  What can I say, I like random compliments :)

3.  Car fixed!  Realizing that the other two things would never have occurred if my car was working doesn't escape me.  I actually like PT because I get to people watch or just let someone else do the driving for me so I can read during that time, nap, write, or allow my mind to drift.  However it's not so fun shuffling heavy grocery bags (like I had to yesterday) or attempting to do the accumulation of laundry for 4 people.  Plus I've been getting to work earlier just because I have to rely on PT. 

I really need to work on TYW or write up this short story but I'm soooo sleepy.  Also it looks like there might be a counter offer for the house I'm looking at.  Will hopefully find out more tomorrow. 

Monday, July 20, 2015


So how bad do you want it?

" Here’s the thing about being a writer, or a musician, or an artist, or any sort of creative person. The ones who make it are the ones who make themselves do it. They’re the ones who practice even when it seems like they aren’t getting any better. They’re the ones who open up their work-in-progress when their friends are going out hey-are-you-coming-with-us — even if they know that this novel is not the one that will be good enough to get published, because they know that practice is the only way to get to the one that will be good enough to be published. They’re the ones who send out query letters and hear no and they send out more query letters and they hear no again and they send out query letters and they hear no again. They’re the ones that hear no as not yet... They’re the ones who are hungry for it. No, they’re the ones who are starving for it."

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Week 12: Hangover

WC:  562

I fucking hate my life right now.

“Gawd Alissa! How much did you have to drink this time?”

My roommate, ever so supportive, does not hold back on her general disdain for the the manner in which I left the bathroom. The cold tile floor feels good against my inflamed cheeks.

I feel my mouth opening to say ‘chill Lu’ but the words are swallowed by another swell of vomit and it goes projectile before I’m able to find the porcelain throne once more. When I’ve stopped, body ragged and feeling spent I look over to Lu. She’s standing in horror at the smelly company her legs have attracted.

“My beautiful kingdom,” I mumbled before falling to the side, body leaned against the tub, “off with her head!” And I fall asleep noting the particular note of disgust on Lu’s face. Looks like I just lost another roommate. And friend.

The next night I’m at a new bar that promises to not hold any of the familiar faces that will reprimand or invoke those evil words “you’re cut off.” I don’t need them. I don’t need their judgmental gazes bearing down on me as if I’m not in control. I know perfectly well what I’m doing… most of the time.

“Hey sexy” said creeper at nine o’clock. He’d been watching, stalking, and finally had worked up the courage to take a chance. I might entertain a free drink but I was still pissed from the not so warm welcome at my favorite digs. It was eating at me.

“Don’t waste your time buddy,” said a voice I hadn’t expected to hear. I turned around just as Lu’s older brother, Ray, took a seat beside me. Creeper slowly backed away. “I had a theory,” Ray started as his eyes followed creeper, ensuring he went back to whatever crawl space he’d come from, “Either you went to Friendly’s or the nearest sketchy place that would shower you with free drinks.”

“Ding, ding, ding,” I said. “Free drinks always win.”

“You sure, I thought it was the sketchy part that sealed the deal,” he said holding up a hand and getting immediate service. I always figured bartender’s must have a secret signal to get such fast service. Ray was the bartender at the bar I liked to seek my ‘spirits’ at except tonight he wasn’t so open to receiving me.

“Shouldn’t you be getting a tip for smiling at a pretty guy right now?” I said as I took a swig of my beer, “thanks for the drink.”

Ray shook his head and tipped the bartender. I watched the exchange but when I couldn’t decipher anything out of the ordinary I guzzled down the rest of my bottle and took Ray’s.

“You know if you’re that thirsty-”

“I’m not,” I said taking another swig. I started to stand and the world spun. I reached for the edge of the bar but instead found my hand grasping Ray’s bicep. As we stood there my eyes staring at his chest, too afraid to look up I heard the one thing I’d been dreading all week.

“10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5…”

Ray’s grip tightened as he stood me erect…

4… 3…

His hand under my chin, tilting it…


My eyes closed…


His lips came down on mine.

I didn’t hate my life at that moment.

I was sleep... 52 Week Update / Short Story Challenge

Sometimes I feel like I have three kids.  Not fun.  And tonight I thought I was going to have a good sleep.  The niece is away.  I'd completed another short story, speaking of which I need to figure out to how to recover the ones I started on my smashed in laptop -_- but I digress, and was about to do a bit of reading.  Instead I dozed off for what must have been an hour or two before being awakened.  And I was cranky.  It's one thing when I intend to cat nap and I can go down for as little as 15 min to about an hour and be legit.  So now I'm wide awake and trying to do something productive until I pass out again. 

I thought I would possibly blog about movies I caught this weekend plus give a house update but my car crapped out of me.  I did see Pitch Perfect 2 and Terminator Genesis last weekend which weren't too bad.  But Terminator was just heavy early on and predictable, for me at least, with one plot item that I saw coming from jump.  

As far as the house situation goes.  A few weeks back, I think on June 25th ish or so I submitted an offer for the a house out in Hazelwood.  Since (1) I was tired of looking (2) it had the handicap accessible things I needed for the grandparents (3) it near the major highway and (4) it had a pool :) 

I still need to look into pool maintenance since that would mostly be for me.  At any rate, long story short there were a lot of issues with the house and the owners, since my REA missed the deadline to ask for any fixes (and instead submitted docs to extend it), the owners denied the extension request and said either accept the house 'as is' or they were backing out of the contract. So as of Wednesday I am no longer under contract and sort of back to square one BUT my REA found some others homes and I checked a few of them out today.  All in all it didn't come out too bad but I did have to come out of pocket for the inspection which isn't cheap.  The only good thing about that is the inspector offered to wave the fee if I found another house. 

And if that doesn't work out, well, I'm going to fall on renting.  Speaking of I need to email my landlord. 

Lastly, my short stories...  Suffice to say I'se behind but feeling like I'm going to do the work from here on out.  So I am putting the pressure on  myself to catch up. 

To recap I'm doing the following challenge >>>> See post he-ah

And here's where I'm at as far as short stories for the year.  I'm *attempting* to do at least one a day to get caught up to being on Week 29. 

Week 1 (1/1 - 1/7) - Ned Finally Died
Week 2 (1/8 - 1/14) - LLFH:  Broken Things
Week 3 (1/15 - 1/21) - The Confession
Week 4 (1/22 - 1/28) - The Garden:  OTTM Side Story
Week 5 (1/29 - 2/4) - Haunters Anon
Week 6 (2/5 - 2/11) - Polluted (posted 3/19)
Week 7 (2/12 - 2/18) - The Job: A Justice for First Wives Side Story (posted 3/22)
Week 8 (2/19 - 2/25) - Serial Beauty: Lucky #11 (posted 3/23)
Week 9 (2/26 - 3/4) - Doctor P (posted 7/15)
Week 10 (3/5 - 3/11) -  Clifford's Baby (posted 7/16)
Week 11 (3/12 - 3/18) - A Bot Love (posted 7/18)
Week 12 (3/19 - 3/25) -
Week 13 (3/26 - 4/1) -
Week 14 ( ) -
Week 15 ( ) -
Week 16 ( ) -
Week 17 ( ) -
Week 18 ( ) -
Week 19 ( ) -
Week 20 ( ) -

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Week 11 Short Story: A Bot Love

WC:  2,850

    Killing someone was a lot harder when you knew how the dying part felt. It was another level of consciousness really. Like having to wash dishes everyday at 5am. Being my own professional dishwasher at the crack of dawn wasn’t how I preferred to start my mornings but I did. And for that reason I became a lot more cognoscente of what I did the night before in order to avoid too many dishes the following morning. So that often meant using the same cup and threatening to kill others for making large messes the night before but it still happened because I still reported for duty at 5am everyday.
But that’s not really why you’ve come here. You’re interested in the dying part, I know. How did I come back? Why? Well those are easy to answer because the how, well, I fought. The why you ask? Why-

    For you.

“So I hear the world is coming to an end and you’ve been paired with Simon?” Lindsay said, “I mean it’s probably not that bad right?”


“Yeah, he probably just acts that way in groups you know, maybe once it’s just you and him alone in the lab he’ll actually you know, turn into a human and emote,” Tamara chimed in.

I scoffed and tried to ignore their good natured intentions but the truth was the idea of having to work on a project with anyone, let alone Simon Torres, felt murderous. I hated projects which involved “team” anything or “partnering” or “collaborating” or … insert your political corrective term for defining an activity that involves grouping people together for some kum-bi-yah failure. I hated it. I always hated it and up until this point I’d cleverly avoided it. It wasn’t as though I’d gotten away with it in high school completely but where there was a will there was a way. College challenged that.

“But you know it’s kind of your fault,” Tamara added. I wanted to poke those beautiful brown eyes of hers that I’d always joked about stealing. It was true that I had brought this on myself.

“Oh yeah, the match, right? You made a bet with Professor Casper that no one could beat your score”. I rolled my eyes and looked down at my watch, five hours before I had to meet up with Simon.

“By the way has he come to a class yet,” Tamara asked as she bit down on her double chocolate cookie. I’d recently developed an issue with a lot of foods it seemed and couldn’t keep much down so I just settled on water and broths. Everyone thought I was dieting but really I’d become afraid to eat so while people were congratulating me on my weight loss I was silently fuming over the sort of world I lived in as a curvy female. Well a female slowly losing her curves.

“He’s supposed to be coming in on the final day,” I said thankful for a change in topic. “I don’t think anyone has ever met Professor Casper actually. Since he’s had that unknown medical condition since he switched from his last school.”

“I think he’s actually a vampire. It’d explain why he’s only available at night,” Lindsay said as she popped her straw out to lick the last of her banana milkshake. It smelled so banana-y and I just wanted a taste.

I shook my head, “I’m heading out. I don’t think I can stand to sit in this food court of torture another second. Catch up later,” I said and I could hear Tamara promising some sentiment which meant they’d be more sensitive to my diet and Lindsey discarding her milkshake but that’s not what I wanted. I wanted to be able to have a life without anyone feeling they had to accommodate me. It wasn’t that I had to be alone, I just found it easier to not be pitied for my own shortcomings.

Unlike Tamara’s predictions much to my relief Simon Torres was no different once isolated from the classroom. He was still the same kid whose emotional radar registered zero and spoke very little which given my own work ethnic worked out pretty well. We were preparing a presentation to deliver to a group of kids at a local charity that Professor Casper headed up to empower young girls. Since I was at the top of my class Professor Casper had originally reached out to me to see if I’d be interested in being the face of female engineers and talking a bit about it and some of the projects I’d’ worked on. But I wasn’t enough. He hadn’t said that but in some ways it felt like he had. I never quite understood why he felt the need to challenge my ‘one-alone’ mentality.

But even more surprising than that was Simon Torres. He was a quiet student and he did decently on test. I couldn’t quite place where his sudden drive had come from. The bet between me and the professor was one that hadn’t been particularly hidden, it was on the online class forum but most of the students didn’t use it, even though it was a requirement. As I turned around to look at Simon, we both were sitting at separate lab tables so his back was to me, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he’d seen the bet. But then what might that imply if he had?

We worked in silence on our respective bots. You would think we’d need to be a lot more talkative if we were supposed to be presenting in just a few short weeks but Professor Casper had a plan for us to compete, who could design the best bot, and I too had a plan. Something that one upped Professor’s Casper idea and while I couldn’t see his response I’m sure it rendered a smile. At least I liked to think so.

So for three weeks this is where Simon and I would meet. For those three weeks I learned how quickly ones life could change.

The first few nights in Simon’s company was uneventful. We were both working on original concepts and without saying much slowly he began to observe what I was doing. Simon often got to the lab before me and I’d seen him in my space a few times. His wet brown hair looking over my sketches, him tilting his glasses back. Unlike the evening class at 3 on Monday and Wednesday where he wore contact lenses, at night when we met in the lab he choses glasses. I wasn’t sure why his hair was always wet but it wasn’t a bad look and it didn’t drip onto my papers so I hadn’t complained. I’d watch him for a few minutes before going back down the hall to make some sort of ruckus to announce I was nearing. By the time I arrived in the room he’d be at his table working as if he hadn’t been in my space at all. He always left it just as I had it, remembering every angle the paper sat, which was closest to the edge, and the piece of gum I sometimes used to dangle papers off the table-

I’d made it a point to never look at his own work despite being curious. And I stuck to that promise though Tamara hadn’t believed me when I told her. I was reconfiguring a port when my stomach decided to disrupt the silence. My cheeks reddened and though I sat up straight I was too afraid to turn around to see if Simon had even noticed. How could he not?

I hated it. It shouldn’t have been a big deal but I felt the unfairness hit me. The ‘why’ me parade wanting to chime in and have it’s moment but I fought it. Without warning I heard Simon’s stool scratch against the floor and when I looked up he was out the door. Which only made the chatter grow worse, the self hate impede, and nothing would let up. My chest felt tight. I gripped the lab table and tried to count, sometimes that helped but the tears, I could feel them as they gathered. If I dared open my eyes at ten there would be no stopping them. I sat in the lab crying with my eyes closed when I heard a sack plopped down in front of me. I heard Simon’s stool move again and the sound of him at work.

I hadn’t pulled the contents out of the bag immediately, afraid it’d be something I couldn’t eat and I’d have to be rude but when I found my fingers curving around the familiar shape of a cup of ‘to g’o soup I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know how to feel. I just know that I had.

I never said thank you aloud. I left a note for Simon thanking him since I often stayed later. So when he left I placed the note at his station. When I arrived the next day it was gone. I just assumed he’d taken it but I worried, what if he really hadn’t gotten it. What if it got buried beneath an avalanche of papers, what if someone took it thinking there was money in it only to discover I was cheap and didn’t put money in envelopes. Simon hadn’t said a word. And I never skipped dinner again.

One day it rained and Simon put on music which I thought was strange but I hadn’t said anything. The next night it rained again, and again he turned on the station. There was no rhyme or reason for the station he chose, I imagined it was tuned into whatever the last person left it on but when it didn’t rain the radio didn’t come on. I became curious but still we hadn’t spoke.

“He watches you,” Tamara said from out of nowhere causing Lindsey to raise her brow and me to choke on my strawberry infused water.

“Excuse me,” I said not sure where that had come from and not really wanting to know.

“Remember last week I told you I planned on stopping by.”

“Yeah, and I also remembered you not doing that.”

Tamara shook her head, “But I did. I walked by and was about to enter but I wanted to sneak up on you two but when I got there I couldn’t. It was weird. Like Simon couldn’t see that I was there because he was slightly turned the opposite way but he was watching you work and it was, well…”

“Just spit it out Tamara, geesh!” Lindsay cried out. Out of all of us I think she was the most impatient when she went without food and both of them, right now, were attempting to be satisfied with just strawberry infused water.

“He smiled.”

“For pete’s sake,” Lindsey said and she threw back the rest of her water as if it were a beer. I half expected her to crush the glass against her head. She seemed to be in that kind of mood but I was distracted.

He smiled. Simon was smiling. I still didn’t know how I felt. I just knew that I had. And again now.

Throughout the entire process Professor Casper kept tabs on us to check the progress of our work, it was mostly through the forum on a private post where he had only invited me and Simon. I don’t know if Simon ever accepted the invitation.

Professor: “I saw the bots. There almost done. What about the presentation?”

Student 482-1293L: “Yeah they are. I think the kids will like it.”

Professor: “And how about the presentation? What words do you two plan on giving to young impressionable minds?”

Student 482-1293L: “All of the best words known to Myriam Webster of course!”

Professor: “I’ll see you both in class tomorrow.”


Professor: “Just a figure of speech. Have a nice evening.”

Student 482-1293L: “Night Prof”

I caught myself. I’d almost called him Professor Casper though I think the Professor was familiar with the nickname he shared with one friendly ghost. I was leaving the library and on the way to the lab when I saw Simon with his wet head of hair running in the direction of the lab when he collided with another guy attempting to catch a Frisbee. From my end it all happened in slow motion. The impact caused Simon’s glasses to get knocked off in the process. I ran over as Frisbee dude shouted expletives, basically blaming Simon for the collision.

What started as a light run became a lioness run and before I knew it my fist were clenched on my sides and I was standing between Simon and stupid Frisbee dude. “How dare you!? Why don’t you try watching where the hell your going next time? Or better yet playing over in the damn field away from the rest of us that actually intend to do something with our education you waste of sperm scum.”

A hand was placed on my shoulder. I hadn’t seen it but Simon had gathered up his stuff and shook his head as if to say ‘it’s not worth it’. But my cheeks were hot and it felt very much worth it.

“Yeah tame that,” Frisbee idiot said before snatching the disk from the ground and running back toward his friend to speak crap from out of ear shot.

I opened my mouth but no words came out. I don’t think I’d ever heard Simon talk. Maybe he couldn’t. Maybe he was mute. And I wanted to say something like ‘sorry’ or ‘are you okay’ or ‘that dude was a douche’ or … … But nothing came so I shook my head in resignation and we headed to the lab together. Once there I sat my stuff down and started to walk to the restroom when I heard a very soft voice mumble, “thank you.” I think I smiled.

A couple nights before the presentation I had beat Simon to the lab. There was rain in the forecast and rather than risk having my book-bag and the contents of it soaked I opted to grab dinner from the cafeteria for the both of us. I wasn’t sure what Simon liked so in turn I ended up over spending and knew most of this would probably end up as food scavenged by my roommates later.

Though time passed and the food grew cold. Simon hadn’t arrived. The rain poured heavy and I worried maybe there was some legitimate fear to the rain for him, some bad association that I should have asked about but never did. At 7:30 I found myself going outside to scan the lot. It didn’t take long for me to get soaked which is why five minutes later I stood near the window in the lab looking into the darkness for movement.

I saw nothing.

Unconsciously I turned on the radio, a jazz station played, thunder clapped, and a Sade song started just as I heard a bag hit the ground. I turned around and found my eyes locked onto Simon. His brown hair dripping, his glasses slightly fogged, and there was a cut on his lip. There was a million different ways this moment could have gone but I could only think of one I desired.

I walked over to Simon. Removed his glasses. His eyes scanned my own and slowly they roamed from my eyes to my lips. The same hand that had once found my shoulder did so again as he pushed back my shirt to kiss my shoulder. I initiated this encounter.

But Simon finished it.

“I nearly died several weeks ago. My mysterious illness had finally did some damage and landed me in God’s Waiting Room for all of 30 seconds before I was revived. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to be here when my partner,” and my eyes found Simon on the side of the stage watching me closely, "came to present our bots. I heard a lot of you had questions and for that reason I wanted to come back.”

How did you come back?

“To start you have to know both our bots were designed to be better than the other…”

Why did you come back?

“That was our Professors challenge.”

I fought.

“But I told my professor what if we designed something that could work independently but worked better together when they merged…”

For you.

“You see we could have created bots for the pure reason to destroy just to excite you all in a glorious explosion of tech and get you interested in the sciences. But lets be practical, when you’re familiar with the feel of something, you become a lot more aware of it-”

I could feel Simon’s eyes on me.

I found myself smiling and when I sneaked a peak at him, there was a smile waiting for me too.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Week 10 Short Story: Clifford's Baby

WC:  850

   Clifford Thomas had decided that having two first names meant he should pass on one to his stolen baby. Baby Thomas was Clifford’s first and only crime. Baby Thomas was also the only achievement. 
“You’re going to grow to be something great, just you wait and see T!” Clifford said flashing a toothy smile down into the stroller where Thomas lay.

“Simple Clifford they always said. Not anymore, nope, not anymore not with you T. They’ll all see. Just you wait and see,” Clifford said as they turned the corner. The sun was bright, the breeze felt good, and it was Spring. It was no better day to be living than this very moment. Clifford waved to a couple jogging by, interracial, and was even more pleased by this.

“The world’s ready T. No waiting on that. Just you and me son, against this world. Just wait and see is what I’ll tell ‘em. Just wait and see.” Clifford paused as the couple stopped to admire the baby in the stroller. It was the black female jogger that observed something amiss.

“Lovely day,” she said, “keep hydrated” and she tilted her head to her counterpart and they were off.

Clifford stood there watching them for a moment, noting the encounter hadn’t felt completely right but once he saw they were gone he kept on walking to the park. He was anxious to get his baby there. To have fun with the others.

Just as Clifford approached the park entrance, the gated arch was like a welcome smile. “It’s been waiting on us T. Just waiting, you see,” Clifford said as he leaned into the stroller and pointed toward the arch. As Clifford smiled for the twentieth time in the span of five minutes he noticed a police officer rounding the corner. Clifford ordinarily wouldn’t have cared, in fact he might have smiled if not for the same black female jogger standing next to him, looking his way and slowly raising her arm to point at-

Clifford diverted the stroller elsewhere, quickened his pace and went toward one of the more tree filled trails for the shade. He felt warm all too suddenly.

“SIR!” Clifford heard someone call from behind, much far behind, really really REALLY far behind as he kept trucking past casual walkers on the trail. Up ahead there was a less traveled trail, one carved out by those who like to go ‘rugged’ in the park or maybe just couples that were feeling frisky and expeditious.

Clifford looked into the stroller as it bounced on the bumpy ground, worried the vibrations might wake a sleeping Thomas. “Shhh, shhh T, don’t you worry, just wait T, just wait and you’ll see…” Clifford whispered, his voice dropping as he found a spot to park the stroller. He carefully removed Thomas and sat against a tree.

Clifford unwrapped the blanket to expose Thomas’s face and he smiled as he admired his beautiful baby. HIS beautiful baby boy. Clifford stroked his face, nuzzled his own face to Thomas’s and smiled for all the world to see. He was happy. He was finally happy.

But the moment was interrupted by a strong cologne. Clifford turned slowly and watched as the officer and a few other people, including a small girl had come there. He quickly turned his face back around and sought the comfort of his baby.

“You see this T, we’ve got an audience,” he whispered to him.

“Cliff,” came a woman’s voice that Clifford recognized but refused to acknowledge. Instead the officer cleared his throat.

“Mr. Thomas,” the officer started then paused. Clifford hadn’t turned back around but could hear the shuffling, the whispers, and understood enough to know what this resembled. He was black. The baby was white. And the woman… that voice.

“Excuse me mister,” said a tiny voice.

“Claire,” hissed another voice, likely the child’s mother, “back over here… NOW…”

“Pretty baby you got there Mr. Thomas,” said the officer.

Clifford’s ears perked at this, “He’s going to grow up to be something real special some day. Just you wait and see… they’ll see T. Just wait.”

The officer was there, standing beside Clifford who still sat leaning against the tree, “I agree. But you know what, there’s a little girl here who has the same hopes and dreams for her own baby.”

Clifford looked down at Thomas whose eyes were still closed.

“In fact I bet that little girl probably loves that baby just as much too. It’d be a shame, really, don’t you think, if something ever happened and you couldn’t find them.”

Clifford began to rock slowly, he held onto Thomas but the plastic only pinched him back. The warmth was leaving him.

“Cliff, baby,” said the voice he recognized earlier and slowly felt as real heat encroached onto him. Arms wrapped around him and suddenly the baby was gone from his own arms but tears bled onto his cheek, moistening his dry skin.

“It’s going to be okay baby,” the woman whispered to Clifford in broken sobs, “just wait. Just wait and see.”

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Week 9 Short Story: Doctor P

WC:  680 words
A/N:  I make no claims for being a science expert but given the word prompts of 'virus' and 'diet' I came up with the following short story.

No one really liked the idea of someone else’s fecal matter being spread across their rectum but if you told them it belonged to a celebrity - ‘OMG! WOW! WHOSE POOP DO I GOT?!” - it was met with a lot less resistance.
Celebrity poop was big business. So many people were interested in having Demi’s youth-like appearance. Beckham’s body. Hawking’s intelligence. There was a market for everything. Bacteria and our gut bio’s were big in the private arena. You banked big if you were smart to invest early on and there was no end in site. It was exciting when you really thought about. 
I wasn’t so fortunate.. In many ways if you asked some. I dealt with everyday poop and once in awhile our facility was gifted with celebrity poop that no one else wanted, think Bill Cosby- who really wants that crap up their a—. 
Aside from reject celebrity poop there was just the job itself. No one ever called you Naturopathic Gastroenterologist or cared to remember once they realized your clientele involved human excrements so I was Dr. P which was easier for me to settle on that being called the poop doctor.

Today was different. Today I felt the nickname fit.

“And where did you say you got this sample from?” I asked the man, Richard Vancroft, sitting across from me. There was a tiny bead of sweat that crept down his left side. Richard looked to his left and right. His hands clumsily came together one moment then broke ferociously at the slightest sound. I’d seen people like him but this felt different.

“I hadn’t,” he said to me point blank. Richard and his hunchback nose were suddenly annoying but I couldn’t let him go. He’d come days earlier and left the sample with me, with great reluctance, and I soon discovered why. The sample had a virus I’d never seen anywhere and when placed in petri seemed to overrun the colony of bacteria already there to the point of extinction. I couldn’t risk using the sample but I knew it might risk him going somewhere else a lot less careful.

“Are you okay Mr. Vancroft?” He'd taken to biting his nails. His eyes, when not on me seemed to dance across the room.

“I am. So what do you think Dr. Penelope? Can you fit me in today?”

I sighed. “I’m a little concerned about the sample Mr. Vancroft. The results were- well I’d like to have another day to examine the results further and possibly run an additional test.”

Mr. Vancroft’s face was blank, “That won’t do. She’ll kill me before then.”

His voice muttered toward the last part but I was sure I’d heard him correctly, “Mr. Vancroft, are you in any sort of - Well who are you worried about? I could call the-”

Mr. Vancroft stood suddenly, “Can I have the sample back? It’s okay. I knew this would be a bad idea.”

Lost him. “Mr. Vancroft, I assure you we can perform the procedure. I just have some concerns and you know, really if you’re worried about your safety that should be your main-”

“I KNOW WHAT MY MAIN PRIORITY SHOULD BE!” Mr. Vancroft's breath was heavy, his body visibly shaking and his eyes, were they always grey? A second ago, I thought maybe they’d been a light brown. I watched as he turned his eyes away from me, shutting me out. His back to me there was a patch of missing hair and suddenly his hands were there rubbing near the nape of his neck.

It was as if he’d heard my thoughts as his hands stroked his hair and came away with strands. “Nevermind,” he said as he walked away, “You can’t help.”

Maybe it was my own curiosity. Maybe science would always come first. Maybe part of me had always wondered what if…

Or maybe it was the sadness in his voice. The defeat in his posture but I found myself re-thinking and Mr. Vancroft who had one foot out the door suddenly stopped. 

“I’ll do it.”

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Sometimes the hardest part is just getting started...

As I get ready to revise TYW and work on one of the scene additions I'm staring down the blank page trying to remember how to start.  But how isn't really the problem.  The answer to how just involves tapping some keys and I've started.  The problem I'm experience is where.  Sure I know there are scenes I've had tinkering for awhile but the where is what causes my wheels to spin.  Because in some ways there's a lot invested in that start and if it's not right, for me at least, I might be stuck.  Meaning I'll likely keep going but at some point I might question that start but at that point it won't matter because I'll be past it.

And yet with that knowledge I still hesitate.  I hesitate not only on the where but on the project.  Now that it's 7/1 (Happy July 1st!) I find myself looking at other projects I started last year like The Last Stop, Winter Lily, The Fortune Cookie/Porch Story, etc and other projects that I've sit on like Forever Young, Justice for First Wives and I'm tempted by them all.  Some are stronger than others yet I know at some point I know I'll have to admit part of me is stalling and another part of me wants to write it all and another part of me is just fearful of diving into the wrong one. 

Working on the wrong project.  Starting on the wrong chapter.  Starting the wrong way.  The fear of not being right and possibly wasting time only to find it wasn't right.  But really, honestly,  I don't think I've ever thought I've wasted my time when I later found I was wrong in some way or not wrong but later discovered that feeling of something amiss and that does happen.

So I write tonight just to fill the void.  To get my fingers warmed up because I'm about to start... something ^_^

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Effective vs. Successful Ads

Writing that reminds me that I need to try to watch Mad Men someday, now that it's over before I have the ending ruined for me (like Lost). 

At any rate the other day I was watching tv and was reminded of this ad that I find highly funny -

After seeing the commercial yesterday I kept thinking about what made it so funny/appealing to me and not so much the product itself.  Then I saw it again today while at the laundry mat and had another LOL moment.  Afterwards I figured I'd write about it since I thought it was an effective ad but then I couldn't remember who was behind the ad which led me to think what really makes an ad successful.

It's one thing to laugh and relate to the commercial but at the end if I'm not thinking about your car product during my next car shopping trip was it  savvy venture for the car company if I'm searching for Mazda but it's really Subaru??? I'm thinking both of those are Japanese made so at least I was on the correct road. 

And then from that it made me think about writing.  Not so much the marketing but how much bang for the buck each line can encompass and how might the difference be for it?  What would I as a writer deem as effective vs. successful?  Is there a difference?  I believe so but maybe not everyone.   As a reader what might I consider to be effective and what I would want out of the book to be 'effective' for me.  Was the marketing effective enough to cause me to check it out at the library or pick it up from a shelf?  Would reading it be considered a success?  Or is it at the point in which I purchase the product that it's become 'successful' because it made that conversion from a potential sale to an actual? 

Again, as a writer, am I viewing my success on that conversion or something in the feedback to gage it's success?  Does the work become effective if it's inspired a movement, conversation, a huge following, etc... Or am I just spinning my wheels 11:30pm at night and need to get to bed for all the work related stuff I need to do. 

I think it's the latter ^_^

Check out the commercial though.  It appears to be the extended version but it's still quite funny because at the end it's sort of this message of "I think I'll stick to being a kid a little while longer." 

Smart kid. 

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Cinder, Interstellar, Jurassic World, Fushigi Yugi: Genbu Kaiden... My recent trips to other worlds

Apologies for the lack of updates.  Life is just as stressful but I've been centered in what appears to be my new normal for a few months now and it's sort of in a routine but I have to start going into work physically so... ... ... More to come.

At any rate with having to be focused in reality it occurred to me that I haven't lost myself in anything as of late mostly because my extra time isn't really extra and being responsible for so much doesn't really allow for things I like to do such as finding a good book.  And finding a good book is difficult, mostly because I've been a bit more picky about what I read. 

So I started reading Cinder, I'm still reading it and there are definitely some things I like about it but there's something about it that's not driving me to tear right though it.  Maybe I haven't just gotten far enough in it and part of me might be sort of really trying to look at what the author did with her world building.  And this is what I think my mind might be doing, since I'm getting ready to work on the TYW and one of my qualms with it is I don't dig deeper in the world to let the reader in. 

I also watched Interstellar last weekend and while there were a couple things that I don't think I liked there was a lot that I did.  And the world within it, I mean, I think I might've just been grateful for the escape the movie gave me because, again, I've been steeped in reality due to so many personal/family issues. 

Then last Friday I went to see the new Jurassic World and the first movie is one of my favorite movies so no surprise I was going to make sure I went out to see it.  Again I allowed myself to completely become submerged in the film.  The kids seemed to like it too but my cousin's wife wasn't too fond of it.  I actually noticed her flipping through her phone a couple times through the movie. 

Also within this last week I picked up FY: Genbu Kaiden because I was a fan the original Fushigi Yugi and had picked this one up years ago but then I fell off the anime/manga addiction I'd had due to life but while in the library I saw volumes 1-11 and picked them up on a whim.  I binge read the last few days of them and again got submerged in another world.

So what's the point of this post you might ask?  Or maybe you won't but I'll state it anyway.

No matter what it is - art, music, film, tv, books... feed your brain.  Feed your creative brain.  And I believe my recent traipses through these worlds have proven to be beneficial because as I do my novel read through things have been sparking.  Sparking is good.  Sparking is the type of thing, for me, that'll find me in a corner whimpering about not knowing where to go next and suddenly be hit by a stored 'spark' from one of these many trips. 

I'm building my arsenal.  I'm getting ready for battle with this revision of the Three Year War.  I'm feeling ready but in the meantime I think I'm going to continue feeding the brain.  Going to try checking out some short stories and hopefully catching myself up on writing my own.  Might also be taking the niece to see "Inside Out".

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Revision Goals

Earlier this week I had thought to make a goal of reading 3 chapters a day and realized I wouldn't be able to handle that, then I thought maybe 3 chapters a week but I didn't like the 10 week timeline, oh wait, no the 10 week timeline seemed feasible.  I think I didn't like the idea of trying to do 1 chapter per week and revise it too because that meant at least 30 weeks if I stuck to it. 

I think I still want to read 3 chapters a day, it's just the problem with that is that I end up wanting to fix things and maybe it's not a bad thing but I think I should probably get through reading it from front to back to get a good sense of the big picture.  Which I think I do.  I know in my revision I'd like to incorporate more of NoAw's POV since he was originally the fourth POV until Bee came in and took over.  I also think I'm going to split out TYW.  One section will be surrounding the 4 years before, During, and maybe the 4 years after.  I'm still trying to workout the timeline.

Btw, reading Cinder right now.  I'm sort of moving back and forth with my feelings about it but I like reading about the world and how nuggets are introduced which is helping me shape my own thoughts of how I should work the world in the TYW for the reader.  Cinder is also making my mind tinker with my space story as well as the revenge deity story, as I read it, I find myself randomly thinking about scenes I've written down for the two novels.

At any rate... that is my update.  I figured I should post something here since I've fallen off. 

Thursday, May 21, 2015

When you think you have extra time...

Oh this week... this week... this week...

Well my writer brain has been very ON this week.  As in seeing things and making connections for stories, mostly ideas as they relate to TYW and one big item was realizing that a scene I dreamt earlier this week, and the mysterious character was a potential tie in for one of the big picture ideas for TYW.  A big picture idea that I hadn't realized until I thought more about who this new character was and how they might fit into the story.  I'm still putting the pieces together but I think if I ever expanded TYW into a series or figured out a way to rework the first draft (making it turn into a larger book) I'd include this character AND probably include one of the final scenes I had thought to write but scrapped at the end.  It's a scene my mind keeps coming back to time and time again but it seemed so random to add at the time but with this new scene in mind, it doesn't seem so random anymore.

I think the reason this is all making sense now because of the dream but also because I always remember this advice I've seen others writers suggest and that's combining ideas.  I had the idea for the TYW years ago.  Around the same time I believe I also had another idea, which seemed random and I never got very far with it, just some scenes, but now when I think about those scenes I can see them happening with Folly as the backdrop.  Folly is the world within TYW.  So hopefully tonight I'm going to try to free write/expand a bit on these two and write more about who I suspect this new character is and their significance to the story overall. 

Besides TYW ideas sparking from just observing the world around me, I also heard this character voice this morning while getting dressed and it was bugging me on the morning commute then it hit me.  And I started working out who it was and why it was they were saying what they'd been saying, jotted this one down as something related to L&P, the revenge deity story.  So I'm very excited how my mind has been going this week and it's definitely coming at a time where I can use the distraction/getting lost in my own stories. 

Given my work week with the various fires after the release with my projects I sought to shoot out of work early since we worked the release last Friday until 3am!  Then I worked a bit on the weekend AND I took Monday off but I still had to sign on for issues with one of my project teams.  So today not realizing it was going to be as quiet as it was I got the okay from my manager to leave early, went to the library with the intention of reading/writing and thought I was stealing some time for myself only for that to go down the drain :(

Tomorrow I'm going to be prepared.  I plan on packing either my MD or TYW binder and heading to the library or a coffee shop for a solid hour of quiet time at least before I pick up my niece from school. 

At any rate off to work on one of these ideas. Or maybe I might read.  Or nap.  Still a wee bit tired. 

Monday, May 18, 2015

Finding where to start...

Today was an emotional and physically draining day.  Not planning to get into it much more than that, I keep thinking I might post more what my life has become and in essence what my 'normal' is. 

But instead I will note that I did go see another house today.  My grandfather saw this one with me.  It's one I checked out last month during an open house  I also had intended to have my grandma see it today but after dropping her this morning I figured I'd rather not bother her about checking it out.  I also mentally decided to do something but I'm not sure how far I'll get with actually seeing that through. 

However after all is said and done last night I collected my MD material.  I also took a glance at my TYW material and though I'd given up on trying to revise MD, I'm a glutton for punishment and can't just let it go.  So my bed is currently covered in notes, both drafts of MD, multiple notebooks that I've captured stuff in at one point of time, beat sheets, beat sheet examples, scene outlines, novel outlines, pep talks, journal entries and some random things (such as an application and my niece's fieldtrip form for the zoo). 

It's almost 10 here and I'm not sure how far I'll get but I feel good being surrounded in this mess.  I was anxious to get lost in my mind today and now that everything is out, semi-organized I find myself wondering if I should just write the scene that's been tinkering in my mind though it's not fully fleshed out.  Keep rereading and making notes for the placement of items and the overall timeline.  Do some activities to get my mind going and brainstorm more or ... ... ...

I have my tunes playing.  I think that's a good place to start :)

And in unrelated news I decided to deactivate my fb acct tonight.  I think it'd been a long time coming since I hadn't really been using it and got a bit annoyed with all the messages.  I'm also thinking of finally investing in a new phone/new line.  I've had the same number since I was 15.  At the very least I need to put it in my name. 

Anywho, I'm off. 

Friday, May 8, 2015

The Weekend... Yay!

I really wanted to write more but I'm super tired and it's been quite the week.  A lot of just frustration and ache just sort of culminated yesterday but good came out of it, i.e. my grandma has been standing on her own over by the sink.  Not the best way but at least she's getting up and trying to find the right balance so there's that. 

I don't have much planned this weekend besides trying to read/finish a book and maybe work on MD since it's been on my brain.  I really want to reread Part 1.  I don't know how far I'll get given there's always something for me to do but given the forecast this weekend I'm thinking I won't be doing too much ripping/running.  I may try to look at one house this weekend that has a pool ***excited***  Though looking at a house on a rainy day doesn't excite me.  Reading on a rainy day on the other hand...

So I haven't had a weekend to do list in a while.  Mostly because I don't have the time to get online as much.  Between trying to stay atop of everything at work plus help/work with my grandma in her recovery, work with the niece, and my mom it is quite the juggling act and there's always a lot to remember.  Like I forgot yesterday was the parent's night to see The Lion King and my niece was quite upset when she noticed I wasn't there.  And I wanted to be there but I completely forgot that that was occurring yesterday.  I did have her try to reenact it once we got home but I know for her seeing me there was the biggie and a couple staff told me she cried when she saw I wasn't there :(

But you know, I felt bad about it and should've put a reminder on my calendar or something but at the end of the day I'm prone to make mistakes just because of the nature of all I've taken on.  Striving for perfection is my problem and trying to do it all but one thing I was able to walk away with this week is the direction.  For the longest time I've felt as though I were being pulled but between yesterday and today I've arrived to a realization.  Took a lot of mental fighting but it's one of those things where I've had the answer all along and basically a 'can't fight who you are'. 

Anywho, none of that might make sense so in short what I basically said is "Tis swift"  ^_^

Weekend To Do (before I jet off):
- Read 2-3 chapters of TROMD
- Revise SpaceShortStory
- Post said SpaceStory
- Watch "The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies"
- Work on one of my project for at least 30 minutes