Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Today's Reflection - August 9, 2017

Today's reflection brought to you by:  The Rancid Soup Company... Because how else would you appreciate a steaming bowl of crap.  Rancid.  It's the flavor that keep on giving.

Oye so in an effort to better remember things (the whole reason I wanted to journal more) I'll try to keep it limited to bulleted items in the hopes that it'll encourage me to actually do it.

So things I accomplished today:
- Procrastination
- Not working on Redemption during my lunch hour like I said I would
- Staring into space
- Listening to a lot of NPR today (and oddly enough the concept of time and our memories came up which was like a low-key dig for me)
- Quick dinner creation (got home late but was able to make some ground turkey, peas, and scalloped potato's in about 40... about less than that).
- Still haven't attempted the black bean meatloaf recipe :(
- Did make a successful trip to the Sprint store
- Increased my bill... woooo
- Actually stated my fear during the team meeting when asked about the new re-org
- Got out for lunch and went to Field Foods (might do that more often based on lunch budget)
- Felt value add during meeting today with suggesting a solution regarding the AEE calls and what might be an option in trying to distinguish a population of people
- Reaching out to a friend after receiving a text that had me worried I might've upset them but then also recognizing my perception might be skewed

A few these things, for me, show the ways in which I'm growing as a person.  For instance I have a policy of 'picking your battles' and I think a lot of people do, not everything is worthy of our time.  But I've also taken on the idea of trying not to make assumptions and address thing head on. 

So in today's meeting I didn't beat around the bush and did show my hesitation as far a having anything positive to say about the re-org and stated that I felt as though my group was already the oddball and with the shift we'd be the odd man out even more.  But you know, it is what it is and I'm going to be vigilant about keeping myself in the present (and trying to hit these goals!).  Speaking of might need to rethink my schedule :(

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Arbitrary Writing Deadlines

It's been nearly 4 months since I've made a post.  Suffice to say my goal of journaling for 80% of the year (or whatever it was) has not been incredibly successful.

It's hard to say where the time has gone.  In April there was the trip to Vegas I took my mom on, coming back and doing the library event then ... ... ... Break from writing ... SEC Psychic Fair (which was fun, I'll need to post a pic of my aura)... Some sad days... some reading ... and work. 

Now that's it's August most of the projects I thought I'd get to this year seem to be in jeopardy such a the read through of OTTM/TMO - which I felt would be good to do because of MD.

I thought by now I would have completed a couple read throughs and had the second draft to the TYW in progress but as it is I'm making notes for the 2nd draft now while also trying to complete the 1st draft for Redemption.

I still have a goal to publish another novel later this year.  It'd be great if I could do two (and right now that's my crazy goal) but if it could only be one I'd like it to be TYW since I completed the first draft for both it and MD back in 2013.  So it would seem nice if they both went out this year as well.  However TYW was intended to be a solo novel and since writing it a few things have come up.  Last year for Nano I attempted to continue it but I fizzled pretty early on.

So one part of me thinks if I want to keep it to one book that I should hold unless I decide to go series route (or duology).  Not exactly how much more there is.  I have a frame of mind as far as the story arcs I'd include but is it enough for just two books or would it make sense to do three since that seems to be a good number for series. 

At this point I'm going to see how draft two lands before I make a decision in that regard. 

Also starting to work out some marketing things (or at least try to).  For TYW I figure I'll revamp Chapter 0 and for Redemption I'll write a chapter for the male's POV. 

In the meantime, effective Sunday, trying to stay away from Social Media until I hit two of these goals. 

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Montgomery's Diary: Available Now

Available at:


Repost: Ned Finally Died

Today I attended an Author Shout Out at the library and was asked about my short story I submitted for the flash fiction contest.  

Should anyone happen across my blog today I figured I'd re-post it and make some updates :)

Flash Fiction Story:  

Ned Finally Died

It was a cold day in December when Ned decided to die. 

It was also the same day I decided to die too. 
I found him at the withered cemetery by the forgotten park with its desolate pond.  It seemed to be the perfect place for two careless souls.
“I just died again,” Ned said as I sat beside him.  The first thing I noted, aside from the fact that he could see me, was how much dead-er he seemed.  I was newly cemented in comparison.  I’d only wandered around for an hour before I found Ned.
The other thing was that Ned smiled.  A toothless, purple gum smile and I wondered if it was the act of dying and bad dental hygiene that his mouth was so out of shape or did death rapidly decay the spirit?  I looked down at my own pale flesh, my brown skin more ashen than usual.  My nails still ragged from constant nervous energy. 
“It isn’t fair, really,” Ned started.  He was looking hard at me.  I stared at the pond, stuffing my hands beneath my thighs.  Ned looked away and said, “I always seem to go back.  They bring me back each time.  I never stay gone long.”
I nod as if I understood, “Do you have people waiting for you?”
Ned smiled and quietly said, “I sure hope so.”
“But you know,” said Ned loudly, “this is the first time I’ve arrived here first.  Always there’s a soul here before me. “
“How many times have you been here before?”
Ned shook his head, “No telling, at least five times that I can recall.”
“Learned anything from those times?  Maybe there’s a reason you keep coming back?”
Ned's eyes found me again.  I can tell by now he had observed the buzzed cut, the crisscross scars stitched onto my wrist, and made his own assumptions about the light blue hospital gown.  Everyone had their ideas.  They all jumped and no one really knew.  Not even me sometimes. 
Ned's head bobbed as if he had answered some large universe question.  The wrinkles near his eyes folded swallowing an age spot.   With his head pivoted toward me and his eyes staring just above my forehead he leaned toward me and shared his answer.   
“You can never have too many second chances.”
I spoke with Ned for hours, sometimes silence found us drifting on the impossible when Ned announced, “it’s time.”  He patted me on the shoulder and got up from the bench.  His body creaked and he had troubling steering it against gravity.  I helped as much as I could but Ned smiled and waved me back to the bench.  The sky was overcast as a light mist came down. 

When I turned back around Ned was gone. 

Hours later I awoke from my hospital bed, skin clammy, and her hand clinging to mine.  I thought about Ned.  It really wasn’t fair.  But it was good enough.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Movie Review: Hidden Figures

Movie:  Hidden Figures
Date:  Jan 7, 2017
Rating: 4 out of 5

The second film movie of 2017 was a definite hit for me.

This is a late review however so a lot of details I might have included before or somewhere in the ethos of my mind. 

However I do remember enough of the 'feels' I got from this movie to know that I would definitely recommend it.  So first off what's the story?

Hidden Figures is based on the untold true story of three African American women.  These women worked during the time of Jim Crow and were ef'n brilliant.  Imagine to be as intelligent as they were in a time when it was accepted you were second class citizens and not afforded the same opportunities, furthermore to be women.  It's painful to think that even today that statement is applicable.  

I believe it's important to note that the film is based on the book of the same name.  I haven't read the book but I'm curious about the differences so at some point I may take a gander to see where Hollywood might of glossed over or condensed the story for the sake of entertainment and time such as grouping all three together, making them friends seeing as each went on to do something very note worthy by being the first "...  ..." 

In going to see this movie we made it a 'girl's night' so I had mi madres, sister, and niece.  I really wanted my niece to walk away empowered from it but I think the adults were reeling as well.  What I loved most about this film was seeing these three women working together, balancing their aspirations with the challenges of being a working colored woman with a family in a white male dominated climate.  And it wasn't just flack they got from the white men and white women but also from their own families.

That level of defying the impossibility of it all was moving.  It was motivating.  And I was happy for it.  I kept worrying that something was going to steal my joy when it came to this film but I think regardless the message was there.  As art is meant to inspire.  I feel like the movies I seen so far this year have managed that. 

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Day 4 - They Arrived

First it was the kids. Loud and disruptive. Moody and energetic. Bouncing then still for one collective moment. They all just stopped.

Adults thought it was kids just being kids. But there were some that knew it was odd. At the time, and what I know now of those that knew, they were the brave ones.

The brave ones were killed yesterday.

And today they descended.

I am not a brave one.

But I may be the last one.


Monday, January 2, 2017

"LA LA LAND" - Movie Review

Movie:  La La Land
Date:  Jan 1, 2017
Rating: 4 out of 5

The first movie of 2017 that will hopefully set the tone for the rest of year for me was "La La Land".

Both written and directed by Damien Chazelle.  After seeing "La La Land" I'm definitely interested in checking out his previous film "Whiplash". 

In a nutshell "La La Land" tells the story of struggling actress / playwright Mia and traditionalist jazz musician Sebastian both trying to make it in LA.  Mia dreams of being on the big screen and Sebastian dreams of owning his own jazz club.  And from the very beginning, with the opening dance number, you get a feel for both the collision of dreaming and reality. 

Without getting so heavy into the plot what I liked about the film was the old Hollywood feel in a modern setting.  The pull and understanding of these two dreamers, passionate about their crafts, and the struggles they face in trying to make it.  I loved the signature song that belongs to both Mia and Sebastian.  The whimsical nature of the cinematography.  If I were to sum this movie up in one word I'd say 'magical'.  It's present all the way up until the very end when the audience is treated to a special montage and a shared smile. 

I was struck by two thoughts - one was that whenever there was something that pulled me out of the movie (because it did happen) I was just as quickly sucked back in.  Also I think I might have realized I am a fan of music in movies, prior to watching this I was a bit skeptical noticing I typically accept my music in an animated film but when I think of my history with music in non animated films it seems pretty non existent.  However I could a good thing if you can walk away from a movie with it still on your mind, melodies still drifting in your head, and the desire to relive the experience again. 

If I were to pluck a couple songs worth listening to from this film I'd recommend the following at the very least:
1. Mia's Audition -
2. Epilogue -

But there are definitely others I'd like, to the point I'm sure I'll pick up the soundtrack.  Also the film met my expectation in that I hoped to walk away inspired.  Watching the film constantly reminded me of my current WIP and it also provided me with an additional with wanting to pick up piano lessons again.  And maybe even see about finally learning to tap dance.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

The Official 2017 Resolution/Goal/Intention Post

This year my resolutions/goal feels more robust.  And in some ways they are.  This morning at service was the intention ceremony, this was my first time participating in one since I've only been coming to SEC since last summer.  Before I left this morning I had rattled out some things mentally I wanted to be on my list and by the time I wrote them down it had grown.  And even those that I wrote down and submitted into the prayer box has since grown to a few more things that I forgot. 

There are some non specific/non measurable intentions such as:  asking for guidance in reaching the final version of Montgomery's Diary (which to me includes allowing others to read it and being open to the ideas that come to me), loving more, laughing more, and in my head (since I forgot to write it down) - forgiving more.  I also wrote down an intent to be at peace more in all matters.  I'd say that was more of the important ones I've been striving with for the last two years. 

In regards to my goals/resolutions, the things which are measurable, here is how that shaped out:

1.  Completion of the third draft of "Montgomery's Diary"
2.  Completion of the fourth draft of "Montgomery's Diary" (since I'm sure there will be one)
* I should note that in between 1-2 there's the task of BETA and revisions
3.  Write the first draft of "Redemption"
4.  Write 500 words per day
5.  Blog once a week (going for an over 80% success rate)
6.  Write 10 short stories
7.  Complete read through of "The Three Year War"
8.  Complete read through of "The Magician's Order"
9.  Publish Montgomery's Diary [and provide/give copies to friends & coworkers]
10.  Participate in retreat (preferably a writing one)
11.  Swim in Thailand (here's to making a trip back to Thailand this year)
12.  Travel to two new places
13.  Read 45 books
14.  Learn something new
15.  Watch 20 films (of which 5 should be documentaries)
16.  Complete a weekend writing challenge (15k)
17.  Add 10k to an open project (i.e. Year Two, Justice, The Last Stop, Forever Young, etc...)
18.  Save (pay yourself first) a minimum of $10 or 5% per pay period
19.  Reduce debt - pay off 3 of the 8 store/credit cards (preferably Cap1 and WM)
20.  Complete a house project (i.e. flooring for one room, garden for spring, organize office, etc)

So lastly one thing I had thought to put on here but decided not to make it one was "Daily deep breaths / find a moment of gratitude and be thankful for ..." I like to think that in my effort to blog more and write daily, especially with using my LJ that I will do this there.  And typically whenever I stop to pause I try to remember to take a deep breath, relax, be still, and be present.  Which is hard to do when you have so many things flying around in your head. 

However that said I do believe I need to fold the last load of laundry, finish a scarf, and working on my daily 500.  I'm hoping to use tomorrow to work on my "Dear 2016" letter.

Happy New Year!!!