Saturday, February 28, 2015

Is it white or gold/black or blue? ::shrugs:: But did you know - NOT EVERYONE DREAMS IN COLOR?!

But yeah I saw white or gold and figured there was probably some scientific reason for that.

However that whole sudden explosion of it yesterday, here at least it seemed, in my fb feed sort of peeked my interest because it was everywhere and I kept thinking 'what's really behind this'?  Like I thought it might be apart of some marketing scheme, I mean how else explained the interest that seemed to happen everywhere.  Was it started somewhere small and find out how fast things travel on the internet???? A BrainGame or some science show that spun interest to test to the general public?  Not sure. 

I liked this explanation someone posted.

Unrelated but sort of, I was talking to a coworker and we were just randomly talking about some of the neuro articles she's come across over the years and she mentioned one that dealt with dreams.  And the moment she said something it sparked an idea.  I'm not sure if the spark will be for a novel already in the pipe or something new but need to capture it so I can work on expounding it tomorrow.

Also I hadn't realized but not everyone dreams in color!!!!  That was a total shock to me.  But random.  However another interesting factoid that stirred something in my writer's brain. 

At any rate, I probably should sign off and take advance of feeling slightly sleepy.  I passed out right after I got in today and was out for a while.  Normally that translates to me being up for hours but I think this week has been so FULL at work I was just juiced out today.  Thankfully no homework for my niece!  And it appears she might've gotten an A on her test today.  That was good to hear.

Okay, I'm off.  I have a wedding and birthday party tomorrow but hopefully I'll post a short story tomorrow or Sunday.  But a lot to do this weekend.  Hopefully I'll finish a book too and start working on the next part of MD *fingers crossed*.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Revising ze Book L1: How to Focus

Trying to work on a project?  Here are some steps to ensure you don't reach complete:

1.  Keep yourself busy.  Spare time?  What?  You're not busy enough.  Block it.  Block your calendar with blocks.  Block.  Block.  Block.  Pardon me this is write-blocking, no sexy writing times for you.

2.  BLOCK.

3.  You should juggle.

4.  Keep your mind preoccupied with work stuff you didn't finish because even though your home it should be allowed to invade your space too.

5.  Make yourself totally accessible for EVERYONE for ANYTHING.

6.  BLOCK.

7.  I think I deserve some TV.  Is it Thursday?  Tuesday?  Saturday?  WTH, it's any day.


9.  Ooo squirrel!

10.  Also block. 

Realistically speaking trying to find time to focus on revising my novel has been difficult and quite frankly frustrating because I know part of my lack of time is my own doing.  I try to do too much and it's just making for long tired days in which I don't get anything on the writing front done.  Even trying to figure out a getaway to get some writing done elicits some guilt.  And it shouldn't be that way.  I should be able to take some time off for myself and work on my novel.  ::sigh::

Okay, I'm done spewing for the moment.  I'm not one to complain much but it has been a bit frustrating as of late given the amount of things I've had to deal with.  Especially when I feel like I have options.  This is my life darnit ^_^

Alright, I think I'm going to hop off.  My niece has already passed out (yay) and I think she's worn out from actually getting up on time this morning plus she had a BH program at her school this evening.  I accidently napped during that.  So tired -_-

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

That's right, you've committed.

Today I had an one-on-one with my manager to basically lay down that:

1. I don't complain much so if he's needing me to bring issues to him that probably won't happen often.  And most likely I'll always lean toward not meeting just because of being busy (plus there are just so many meetings -_-).

2. I have contractor mentality.

And to point #2 we spent about 10-15 minutes or so of my manager trying to explain to me there was no need for me to track my time, anywhere, absolutely no where.  I mean I knew being salaried meant guaranteed check but really you don't need me to log my time?  You know I come in late right?  Work even later?  Sometimes on the weekends?  And you don't need to see any of that?  Fine by me ^_^

I also received my official employee badge today.  And I've sort of sneaking employee work in on the side as much as I can, since there's time sensitive things, but it didn't really sink in until that meeting that 'oh wow, I committed'.  Like I raised my head from preparing for the March release to acknowledge 'yes Denise, you work here now.'  Serve your year.

At any rate, must prepare for bed soon, finally got the food put away, homework done, no reading :( but I'll get there. 

And maybe work on the Daily 100 tomorrow. 

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Paradox of parenting / How Kids Shape Parents

As I sit here thinking how I was going to have an expansive look in regards to this program today and share what I've observed of myself when it comes to parenting but it's late.  Meaning since having my niece stay with me I get to work later than I used to, I got to work late before but now I definitely get to work late (in/around 9) and I work later, which isn't far off from before, in fact I'd work later if I didn't have to worry about picking her up by a certain time so that's probably good.  I can't burn the midnight oil like I used to.

However when I get in there's homework to be done, baths to be had, dinner to be made, and any other random things (such as bad progress reports when someone decides to act a plum fool at school or after school). 

And trying to pull back, exercise patience and just keep a level head with everything else is a challenge.  I was explaining to a friend I've been great writing everyday, which is awesome.  Making progress with my weekly short story challenge but FINDING time to actually work on revisions, hm, yeah, sorely disappointed and frustrated by this.  On top of that is the fact that work is so busy/stressful (like I joked with my co-worker about doing a job search and this is the second day of being a FTE) that I come home wanting some time to lose myself in a book or work on a project and I can't.

Then there are just other things too, that just... ugh.  So long story short this was an awesome program and worth listening too.  I LOL'd at the part about the lack of home upkeep.  Totally me

Paradox of Parenting

And apparently my niece has been spraying the coffee table with air freshener because it was sticky. 

Yeah, time for bed. 

Monday, February 23, 2015

Thoughts of cameras...

More and more I've been thinking about investing in a fancy camera and/or seeing about buying the camera from a college mate.  During college I took photography but didn't have a camera but someone let me borrow theirs.  Naturally I got attached to it and took some very good photos on it, that hopefully I'll post some one of these days. 

So for my upcoming birthday I want to take a trip/small retreat in order to get some writing done and a camera. 

I'd like to get a decent camera but nothing incredibly expensive.

I think this week I should be getting in at a decent time so I'm hoping to work on MD ^_^

Also I'm going to see about a short hair style that I can hopefully wear to the wedding I'm supposed to attend this weekend. 

AND I finished the work assignment today.  After working on it during the weekend and most of the day today I finally got it together.  Having another coworker check it out before I communicated it to the various business channels.  But just glad to have it done.  Now to prepare for some meetings and follow up with my applications teams, update my various project notes and just tackle things I've been putting off the last couple weeks -_-

Off to work on a short story. 

Sunday, February 22, 2015

And the beat goes on...

I'll have to make this a quick post as I need to finish up the work stuff still.  Or get as far as I can with it because I still need to wash another round of dished and put away the black-eyes peas and ham and cornbread I made tonight.  Might need to make more cornbread. 

Not really watching the Oscar's but I can hear my mom's tv.  Sort of thought I might watch it this year but I've started not caring about them as much.  I know a lot of it has to do with not seeing many of the movies and I used to make an effort to see anything being nominated but I think the only thing I've seen this year that has won or been nominated was Big Hero 6 (as of last weekend) and The Grand Budapest Hotel which got some tears out of me. 

Speaking of movies I want to go see The Duff.  I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to but I've figured I'm going to start making 'appointments' for myself so I can get some things done.  And I'm thinking one of them will involve escaping/leaving work early in order to go write.  I don't know if I'll do it this week or maybe try next week once I have a good understanding of tracking my time now that I'll be an official employee tomorrow. 

I also realized I didn't make a to do list this weekend BUT here are the things I accomplished that I can remember:
- 2-3 hours of solid reading
- library run
- paid for Jus's cake/attended party
- hair
- grocery
- car note/state payment
- put away some of niece's cloths

I thought I might get around to working on the manga inventory but alas I did not.  Maybe next weekend.  Though next weekend is busy too, wedding and I'm going to try to get a new hair-do. 

Okay, I believe that's it for now. 

50SoG..."I can save him" mentale

The bad reviews are just, lol, but I think anyone who read the book could probably expect it wouldn't translate well to film.  I mean the book wasn't the top of the crop.  For a lot of people it was a fun read not a literati classic by any stretch of the mind. 

I think the film elevated as much as they could based on what they were working with.  However with that said it was interesting watching it with a friend who hadn't read the books and hearing her say 'I've never said WTF so many times during a movie' and I had to laugh because that was how I was when I read it.  I can't remember if it was the first book or second book I ended up throwing.  Maybe all three. 

But for this post I don't really want to get into the WTF nature (not in depth anyway) as far as the dialogue and how cheesy some things played out, however there were several LOL moments while watching which I thought was nice, but I do want to talk about the 'it' factor when it comes to 50SoG and for that matter Twilight.  I mean it's hard to separate the two when one inspired the other and have a lot of the same elements that make them controversial such as the HOT/WEALTHY stalker boyfriend and 'I can save him' mental and it's totally not an abusive/destructive relationship.  I mean I get it.  I understand the side that's pained by the underlining message the film/book has and also get the side that just sees the passionate/love story aspect of it. 

So I have two things to say.  When I first read 50SoG I didn't get so involved in what could be seen as an abusive relationship.  I was looking at the intense passion and the fight Ana/Christian were attempting to overcome in order to be what the other person wanted/needed them to be.  And there is something to be said about what women want/need vs what men want/need.  And with the books like 50SoG or Twilight, whose audience is predominately female there seems to be the desire to have an all consuming love.  At least to me, I mean a type of love that resembles co-dependence and being at the center of someone's world.  Knowing that you are loved/wanted so much that said person is physically having to fight their nature because they want to be with you soooooo bad... But at the same time in real life, how does that translate?  It's so unrealistic and actual relationships that are like that aren't very healthy and I'd wager they get to be exhausting.  So then I ask myself, why is that?  Why are some women attracted to this?  Or am I missing the mark? 

With the all consuming love package, should that fit your fancy and I can sell it you for about 3 tril, it's that passion.  Again I get that.  You want to connect with your significant other and for a lot of women (and maybe men too) there's this distance where that connection, level of passion isn't being achieved.  In which case I suggest couples try doing the 36 question item to deepen that.

It's sexy though?  This hot/wealthy guy has singled out plain Jane, making her feel like the exception in his world of beautiful people and all he wants to do is have total control.  And it's okay because he's hot, established, and only wants you 24/7.  Has to be with you, feeding you, making sure you remember to floss, f**king you hard, bathing you because you don't know how to, dressing you, then f**king you some more... I mean it really just hit me when I was watching it just how crazy that was.  And I can't speak to BDSM, I mean I've heard people say the book is off the mark about that, but at the end of the movie it just hit me 'this is such an abusive relationship'....

I mean it was there all along but seeing the one scene that finally does Ana in and just replaying other scenes I'd seen earlier play out it just struck me.  But it wasn't the final scene that did it.  It was what my friend said, "I feel sorry for him."

Me:  (eyes shot up)... What? 
Friend:  Well he had a rough childhood...
Me:  (thinking... Oh, my, gosh... this is the problem...)
Me:  But he's crazy.  He can get professional help... He's...

He's a fictional character with real world implications.  Because he exist.  He's not CEO of Grey Enterprises and beating you because of some trauma or masking it as some sort of kinky fetish, no he could be some every day schmo with anger management issues who just happens to show his love when his hands connects to flesh. 

Because what got me at the end of the movie hadn't been the bad dialogue, the sex scenes, Jamie's body, etc it was just this idea that my friend felt bad for him, defending his actions, and me saying, "I get it.'

Because I do get it.  I just feel like there's a problem that I do. 

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Saw 50SoG tonight...

I have thoughts/comments but it is late and I'm tired and need some water/food. 

So this is merely a post just to ensure I don't break the chain.  Since I do have a daily streak going.  And I need to work on my Daily 100 soon ish.  After I eat.

That's it for now.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Random Theory #1 - The Biome is ALIVE... okay, well maybe that's a fact

While driving this evening, on my way to pick my niece up, I thought about my recent stomach issues specifically with dairy.  I remember in middle/high school I had to just stop having it and then at some point I started having cheese and milk again but it didn't bother me. 

Me thinks my earlier thought that I was lactose intolerant might actually be some biome deficiency I was experiencing due to my diet and thus caused me to have the issues that I did which I believe is why dairy might be hit or miss depending on what cultures are cultivating in la casa Denise biome. 

That is all for random theories today, lol.  FYI - these will truly be random musings.  So no set schedule for when they'll drop but they will happen :D

In other news brought the work laptop home in order to do some work so I off to do the Daily 100 and then work.  Fun times -_-

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Small Things: Learning the Art of a Short Story / 52 Week Update

Today at work, and a lot lately, I've realized that I might be able to read as much as of lately but the short stories are doing *something*.  In that it's giving me freedom to just write whatever and be okay with how the story transpires despite my desire to want to fall back on something safe. 

Also with the short stories with trying to keep the word counts short it's really made me focus to concentrate that narrative in the essentials, thus working/flexing another write muscle to me.  And I think it'll benefit me in the long run.  So basically what I'm saying is I like what this short story challenge is doing and allowing me to do (like playing around with ideas that have been in my head and/or creating brand spanking new ones).  I have two short stories that I'm working on that hopefully I'll post some day soon.

After I finish this entry I'll work on "Polluted" as part of my Daily 100.  I had intended to work on MD since I figured out the next scene/transition for the parts but I want to reread P1 before I add to it and haven't had time to do that as of yet. 

Week 1 (1/1 - 1/7) - Ned Finally Died
Week 2 (1/8 - 1/14) - LLFH:  Broken Things
Week 3 (1/15 - 1/21) - The Confession
Week 4 (1/22 - 1/28) - The Garden:  OTTM Side Story
Week 5 (1/29 - 2/4) - Haunters Anon
Week 6 (2/5 - 2/11) -
Week 7 (2/12 - 2/18) -
Week 8 (2/19 - 2/25) -

Figured I'd start adding the dates so I can see how far behind I am.  I think if I could finish up the 2 shorts stories that I've been working on I'd be caught up.  *sigh*  Off to do the daily 100 ^_^

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Case of the Mondays on a Tuesday

Today was a bit rough at work BUT I did make it through it and survived the various meetings I had to run today (which was a total of three, one ran over by half an hour -_-)

I also received my offer letter today. 

AND the most awesome news of the day, my niece got an 82 on her spelling/math test last week!  After her last test being 60's (D's basically) to have this felt awesome.  So I worked on creating flash cards again (we practice her spelling and math en route to school in the mornings) and hopefully that's reinforcing the learning.  This will be the third week of us doing that.  Fingers crossed!  I told her if she continues to do well at school I'll see about dance classes for her. 

Okay off to work on the Daily 100 before I pass out.  Got in too late to do much of anything else once we finished homework :\

And given how tired I was today, I need to get to bed ASAP. 

Monday, February 16, 2015

Week 5 Short Story: Haunters Anonymous

Haunters Anonymous


WC:  1213           


“I was stabbed in the neck.   Several times,” I said and no one batted an eye.  It wasn't the craziest death out there by any stretch of the imagination.  I saw Stu yawn.  He’d died in a plane crash, half his face was missing.  His mouth was always open and the charred bits ruffled as he exhaled.  He was one second from getting up. 

                “I’m sorry,” I said stopping, “My death really doesn’t matter.”

                Jill, the counselor, who said she died at her own hands but had never exactly said how smiled to me, “Keep going.  That’s what we’re here for.   How can you expect to get better if you don’t talk about what’s plaguing you?  You have to get to the root of your haunt.”

                My head dropped into my hands.  I could hear Jill continuing with her jargon.  The others just sat by fading in and out because some itched to return to their haunt more than others.  I remember then.  The pain of each jarring shrill of the knife as it sliced through muscle, tissue, my throat warmed by the blood coursing down it. 

“That’s why I’m here,” I said as I lifted my head.  My eyes narrowed and tilting my head revealed the scars of my death.  “You see, it was my daughter.  She was only 8.”

I noticed some ears, or those that had them, perked but feigned interest.  I joined this group months ago and watched them, waiting for this day. 

“I believe, no I know, my daughter was possessed.  No one believed me then but it’s no coincidence that I’m here” I look around our trust circle then.  They still don’t know.  They still haven’t figured it out.

“She stabbed me so many times I lost count but you see I was still there.  I watched her.  I watched her eyes become hers again.  I watched the horror spread across her face as she saw the blood, the knife, and she dropped it then.  She returned to me and I held my girl for one brief moment before I was gone.”

Maise doesn’t look at me but her eyes blink rapidly.  She doesn’t reach for the box though, none of them will because they’ve heard much worse. 

“But just as I died.  As I held my baby girl I made a wish.  I wanted to know who had possessed her.  And why, why her…”

Jill goes to stand then.  I raise my arm and bring it down with force.  She’s back in her seat.

“You see I made a deal with the devil.  Or whatever it is.  I wanted to know and so when I died I woke up here.  I’ve been in this group since that time.”

W laughed.  I’ve always wondered if it might've be him.  He’s the quiet one of the group.  No one really knew how he died but he’s the worst when it comes to ‘kills’ with haunts according to the “Chronicle”, the ghost worlds obituaries except it list places that were recently haunted and the known deaths associated with it. 

The white light flickers and I’m sure it’s W’s manipulation.  Perhaps he’s made a deal of his own.  “The irony,” W has turned his eyes to the rest of the circle.  They don’t seem to know what to make of his bright yellow teeth and his purple gums that seem to have a dash of red caught in every other tooth. 

Jill has dropped her pad.  “Oh W,” she quickly has fetched the pad, rubs down her skirt suit and smiles, “Would you like to share today?”

“I wasn’t done,” I announced and wave my hand forward closing the two doors to the side and latching their locks.

W laughed again, “Oh Jill, just give it up.  No point in talking.  The Haunters are being haunted.”

I closed my eyes then.  I’m still aware of the seven members of the room.  Stu gets up to try the door.  Jill closes her eyes and tries to dash out but I’ve already summoned all the power I could.  I've made my bed and now I’m going to lie in it one final time. 

I just want to know who. 

They all take pause.  I’m in their head, just where I want to be.  W has bust a gut and is doubled over.  I can’t discount him but something tells me possessing 8 year old girls to kill their mother isn’t his forte. 

You know who it is don’t you.

Maise covers her ear and begins rocking.  Stu ducks under his chair with a mock radio in his hand, “Mayday, mayday we’re going down.  I repeat.  We’re going down.”

The room enters into complete chaos.  The twins Brandon and Brandy, teenagers at the time of their death run to the stock closet and hide in there, seeking comfort in the same place they’d been found. 

I had been so consumed with this moment, that finally the time had come I hadn’t taken the moment to hear her as she pleaded, “Mom, stop, please.  You don’t have to do this.”

I didn’t have to.  I hadn’t always been like this.  The first few days I had thought I’d learn to let it go but then my daughter arrived to the same place.  Dead for reasons I hadn’t known but I suspected the same spirit that took hold of her once hadn’t been done. 

“It’s okay,” she cried out. 

But it’s not.   It never will be.

“It was me,” Brandy shouted from the closet.

“No, it’s been meeeeee,” Maise tries to say even as her breath gets caught on a wheeze.  Stu has radio in, “roger that, I possessed that small girl at 0100 hours.”

W has stopped laughing, “I’m in.”

“Stop it Mom.”

“Me tu tut tutooo,” Brandon stuttered as he emerged from the closet.  Brandy close behind. 

My daughter finds me and stares into the beam of light I’ve perched myself on, “It’s okay, I forgive them. “

She closed her eyes then.  I felt the power I’d amassed slowly fade but I’m not done.  I won’t be able to hold out much longer.  I release the hold of the room and Jill jets out.  She runs to the hall and breaks the glass to signal trouble.  The rooms don’t empty out immediately.  It’s just me and her.  And she knows it.  Her lips trembled then and finally tears fall freely as she slides down the wall. 


But this knowing.  I always suspected but I still don’t know.  I still don’t have the closure.  My wrist have started to tingle and I could use the final trick up my sleeve but she still hasn’t admitted.  I still don’t know why. 

It’s not over.

I left.  My daughter hadn't followed.  And I don't expect her to.  The rooms have emptied out.  My daughter has joined Jill out in the hall and tries to sooth her.  I know she promises to protect them. 

In the time that I’ve been here I have realized I came here with a purpose but so did my daughter.  She’s the light to my darkness.  Protecting the one that brought this hurt to our lives but also trying to save me in the process. 

I just wish I could be saved. 

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Where did the day go?

I think I'm mostly writing now  because I have a feeling that the moment I sit down to read, that nap I've been needing all day will hit me while I'm in the recliner. 

Not too much to update on.  Still working on a new short story.  I really need to go back and complete the space one.

Okay, let me stop stalling and get cooking as well as reading. 

Super short post -_-

Happy Single Awareness Day... Ready for it to be 4pm tomorrow...


No more sleepovers.  At least not for awhile.  I'm so tired right now and they're still up.  Granted a couple of the girls fell asleep/napped during the movie and the car ride home.  We saw "Big Hero 6" tonight at what used to be the Dollar Show (but now it's $3). 

I tried to keep the girls plenty engaged today so that I could ensure they'd pass out a decent hour tonight and allow me to have some "Denise" time.  Alas that is not the case.  I'm eating and thinking "I have to get away... must get away." 

I attempted to let them play in the park today but it was WAY too cold out.  We lasted about 15 minutes before I called it and had them heading back to the car.  They played for an hour or so at the McDonald's play place while we waited to catch the next showing.  A couple of the kids wanted to watch the new SpongeBob movie but me and my niece had seen it last weekend and there was no way I was going to pay to see that again.  I didn't want to pay for it the first time to be honest.  In fact I think I'm well on my way to surpassing my theater viewing from last year.  I only remember seeing one movie last year (Mockingjay) but it's possible I saw something else early on in 2014.  But already I've been to the theater twice this year, so there you go. 

Other than that it's interesting to listen to these three 7-yo girls.  I've watched them team up to talk about appropriate behavior in regards to candy, one comment how she can't stand people walking and why they just don't buy cars, where babies come from (I rerouted that one, lol), and there was one that just slipped my mind.  Oh I remembered it was about having kids.  They saw a party bus and the fact that two of them recognized it was a party bus was a curious thing itself.  The following took place, this is my remembrance-

K:  I can't wait when I grow up.  When I'm a grown up I'm going to get me a party bus.
S:  Me too, I'm going to get a party bus.
C:  When I grow up I'm going to have a baby.
::dead silence for a second or two:
K:  You don't want to have a baby.  Then you can't do anything fun. 
S:  Yeah I don't want to have to find a baby sitter.
::five minutes later::
S:  My baby names are going to Sasha, Kata, and Justice.
S:  And she going to look just like Justice.
... ....
K:  My baby going to look like they daddy.
... ... ...
Me (thinking):  I really want a nap.  Must stay awake... I should probably say something... poor Jaylen. 

And I can't remember what they said after that.  I think I might of interjected to discuss the fact not all people can afford to buy a car or maybe that was earlier while we were still on Kingshighway :\  ... The 'Aya Hens Show - Three 7 Y/O with developing filters.

Also completed and submitted my taxes today!  I didn't officially put it on the 'to do list' but it was definitely an item I wanted to get to sooner rather than later since last year I waited until 4/15 to file and didn't want a repeat of that. 

Okay I'm off to do some writing. 

Saturday, February 14, 2015

A long weekend, yippee!

So I have officially completed/managed my first release.  Technically this was a fairly small release, in fact my co worker called it an anomaly considering there were no users being a la carted access but instead all access was role based, there were almost no manuals, no app team provided IT sign off (all IT sign off was done by my team), and it seemed to go pretty smooth.  We finished by 10:30pm.

My niece also had 4/5 good days at school and so the agreement was that she could have a sleepover so on top of working on a release I had two kids to shuffle about with. 

At any rate I'm thankful for the long weekend.  I have a lot of things to do, project wise with some of my app teams with meetings/discussions AND I have to start going heavy with prepping for the March release which is also on Friday, Feb 13th and I too will be managing that one and it's a LOT bigger than February.  Also I think there will only be two of us working that one furthermore. 


So the weekend to do will involve:
- Taking the runts out to do something fun
- 2 hours of reading
- 2 hours of MD reading/revising
- Laundry
- Hair
- Complete SS
- Grocery list/grocery shopping

And a few other things that suddenly left me. 

At any rate I'm off.

Friday, February 13, 2015

Sooooo tired

Just got done working on V-day bags for my nieces class.  Hopefully we made enough because they didn't send home list or count of students so I just went off of what my niece told me and according to her there are 20 students in her class. 

 Not too much going on otherwise and as it's late I probably should make this a long post. 

Oh, so my manager's manager made the announcement about me and one other person joining the team as FTE.  So yay ^_^

Also had a great, although brief lunch, with a couple of friends from Purina and it was good to get away even if I sort of freaked out a bit knowing all the things I still had to do.  Okay.  Need to go to bed VERY soon.


Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Work, Taxes, and the Meaning to Life

In a nutshell...

Work - Put in my two week notice to my consulting firm yesterday.  And got a note from my manager's manager asking if it was okay to make an announcement during the team meeting tomorrow.  So I suppose it's official. 

Taxes - I need to do this.  Started it.  Shall be getting a return back (yay!) but must catch up on bills and figure out a bday gift to myself. 

Meaning to Life - Noodling ^_^

A previous coworker texted those three items to me earlier in the day.  In regards to an outstanding question I'd been debating on.

I don't have much of an update today besides getting through my email from not working yesterday plus some other task and several meetings.  Still have to do items surrounding the March release.  Such a tedious job sometimes and I know it has to be a better way. 

Got in a bit late tonight too.  Niece hopped directly into the bed and passed out.  So I'll probably have to write a note about her hw not being completed. 

No progress with MD tonight either :(  There really just isn't enough time in the day but 3 day weekend coming up so maybe then.  Also more and more, I'm thinking for my bday I'll settle on just booking some time at a hotel to get away a bit in order to lock myself away to get some work done. 

Off to pass out.  Nighties.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

No rest for the wicked

I didn't get to nap today :(  This makes me sad and I'm definitely ready to pass out now.

So it goes without saying this will be a quick post.  I did take a small power nap at the dr's office but it wasn't a deep one.

I also witnessed a car hit a bike today.  I mean I literally saw it happening and just felt helpless.  I did pull over to ensure the cyclist got up and the guy in the car stopped.  By the time I completed my fingerprinting (part of the WFA background check) the police had arrived and I was tempted to just keep going but I thought I should probably let someone know I witnessed it as well and stopped to ensure both parties were okay.  They apparently had another eyewitness account so I felt freed of making sure I gave any input AND at least I stopped because part of me was just like 'they've got it together, just keep going...'

My lil bro also had surgery today so thus a late evening since we all went to visit him.  I really had thought I might be able to get to the library to work on MD but the day was just busy with a lot of other things but at least I have it printed out.  Just have to make time for it now. 

Okay, I'm off to sleep... Nighties ^_^

Monday, February 9, 2015

Inevitable Poem Reading

This will be another quick entry since I finally got around to looking at MD last night and I printed out the 2nd draft so I want to try to work on it a bit tonight.  As well as tomorrow since I just learned I only need to run one person (mi madres) to her eye doctor follow up.  Built  of a scheduling snafu and it turns out I probably didn't need to take the day off tomorrow but I'm going to take advantage of it and work on MD a bit. 

In playing around with recording, I used the recorder on my laptop to read a short poem I wrote years ago to accompany my second novel "Inevitable".
And this is where I'll wrap it up.  At some point I'll get to the library to use the studio but maybe I can play around with making audio on the laptop for now.  Maybe work in some background piano or something -_- 

Sunday, February 8, 2015

"Authenic love does not devalue another human being..."

Listening to the Grammy's and stopped when I heard the Obama PSA which was followed by a survivor of domestic violence, Brooke Axtell, as she said the following-

"...Authentic love does not devalue another human being. Authentic love does not silence shame or abuse. If you are in a relationship with someone who does not honor and respect you, I want you to know that you are worthy of love. Please reach out for help. Your voice will save you. Let it extend into the night, let it part the darkness. Let it set you free to know who you truly are: valuable, beautiful, loved."

Not to say I've ever been the direct victim of domestic violence but I've witnessed it and it's a horrible feeling to watch your mother or a friend be the victim and feel helpless.  There's a murderous anger that does build too, that feeling of 'if I ever...' which can be dangerous because now you've taken in some form of poison.  You might not ever stop hating that person, the abuser, long after they've changed, or maybe they haven't but that really isn't the point.  The fact that you still hold on to that anger in some form that you tell yourself 'it'll never be me' but at the same time fear it's possibility...

Hearing that tonight and with some other things this weekend I was reminded of that anger.

At any rate today was a productive day and another warm day too, not as warm as yesterday but warm enough to take my niece to the park and then to the movies to see the new SpongeBob movie

I think I completed everything on my list except -
- Dedicating 1-2 hours on MD
- Dedicating 1-2 hours on reading
- Work
/Complete Week 5 SS
- Uniform(s) for niece
- Begin development on TOC recipe
- Pay/Send Rent

I started week 5's short story but due to issues I was distracted and just not focused enough to finish it.  But I'll try posting it later this week.  I still need to finish the space short story but the new one I started yesterday kept coming to me.  I've jotted it down as the 'watcher/stalker' story. 

Okay off to work on the daily 100 and head to bed soon.  Have a morning meeting -_-

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Quick Update

Today has been both a productive and annoying day.  There were definitely some interesting/high notes such as getting up early to read and probably about to read again soon.  There was also the fact that I made it to an appt. I'd been trying to get to since last year. 

But then there was some issues that at this point I'd rather just read and not think about any further. 

So an update of the to do list since I did get some things accomplished such as:
- Dedicating 1-2 hours on MD
- Dedicating 1-2 hours on reading
- Work/Complete Week 5 SS
- Uniform(s) for niece
- Begin development on TOC recipe*
- Pay/Send Rent

I did a lot of shopping for my niece.  I found as many uniforms as I could and regular/everyday clothes as well.

At any rate I've done my daily writing for the day so I think I'm going to read more of one of the books I have open or read MD. 

Having some tech. difficulties with doing a random pic tonight... so no random pic tonight :\

Nighties ^_^

Friday, February 6, 2015

The Other Cookie Experiment / To Do List

This will likely be another short post as I am sleepy and I need to still write for the day.

I'm happy to say that I did get things to a good stopping point at work.  I was also made aware of the fact that I'd be responsible not just for the Feb. release but for the March release as well.  So I've started blocking my calendar for activities toward it. 

At any rate I have a few things I need to do this weekend such as:
- Dedicating 1-2 hours on MD
- Dedicating 1-2 hours on reading
- Work/Complete Week 5 SS
- Uniform(s) for niece
- Begin development on TOC recipe*
- Pay/Send Rent

Keeping it simple but I'm sure I'll end up doing more like laundry potentially and some light grocery shopping since rent eats up a hefty chunk of my check.

*TOC recipe aka The Other Cookie
In a nutshell I'm planning on making up my own cookie.  I've decided it will be called TOC or The Other Cookie.  Right now I'm still thinking on what I'm going for but I know I want to involve nutmeg and chocolate chips (or white chips) and cocoa.  Stay tuned.  I might do an initial experiment this weekend after I peruse some other recipe in order to nail down a draft of measurements.  I'll post a pic of the first go at it if I get to it. 

Random pic is more of a random comic courtesy of PDL Comics. 

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Early to bed tonight...

Today was a pretty productive day work wise.  I got a few things done for applications I'm working on and some items together/completed for the upcoming release.  So Friday pending, meaning I check off some more things I should go into the weekend with a clear conscious and making a go at updating MD this weekend. 

I noticed with the disruption from my niece being sick I haven't had as many ideas during my morning route and I think because it's been shortened with the direct trip to work in the morning.  I'm also going to try to focus on minimizing the amount of distractions this weekend and try to enclose myself for at least an hour or two of dedicated reading one day and writing/revising another.  I think the reason I (as well as a lot of people) bounce around so much is because we having WAY too many things we're trying to do all at once and it's contributing to a shorter attention span.

Nothing exciting this post but I'm feeling excited about making this a productive weekend :)

Off to work on the daily 100!

Random pic... my ebony and ivory muffins ^_^

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

...when I remember that I'm just a person...

This was supposed to be a resolution's update.  But that won't be happening.

So tonight's post will be short.  But I heard this on NPR today and I really liked what she had to say in regards to being 'human' first rather than a 'woman'.  And it really does just make life simpler when you look at it from that angle.

     "I think people of my generation, especially young women, are used to a reductive sort of empowerment," she tells The Takeaway. "And it's not like I think we should stop [saying] 'you're beautiful; love yourself'—but I guess at that age, when I was starting Rookie, I just wanted something that could be more nuanced, and was looking for something where you could be honest about feeling bad about yourself, or imperfect."
     She continues: "I always feel better about myself when I think of myself as a human before I think of myself as a woman," she explains, "because there are expectations attached to being a girl or a woman that, when I remember that I'm just a person, really kind of fall away."

Link to the story here -

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

52 Week/52 Short Story Update

But first a PSA -

So I'm not the first person in line waving the "FB IS AWESOME" banner by any means.  In fact I don't use it often or try to log on often for various reasons but as I was looking for something on my timeline knowing I'd find it quickly and I shimmied through 2014 in a highlight reel type of fashion.  And specifically hit the post(s) where a lot of stuff was happening in my life.  There was a lot of encouragement in those comments and not that I haven't stopped to look at where I'm at now in comparison.  But it's still a bit to marvel at this time last year I was aware or about to become aware of my last day at Purina.  And given the news I received today (that I will hopefully post about on Friday) it sort of interesting to come across it.

The other thing I wished to comment on was this odd run in today.  Like I got the impression that maybe I'd done something wrong and I eventually wrote an email to the person apologizing for not checking in since they are going through a bit in their life right now but I definitely got this not so good vibe and sort of awkward elevator ride in which I thought 'oh crap, I flubbed on something'... So without really going into that much.  I'm still not clear and I'm not sure if they'll reply back or not but I recognized this I'm not used to or comfortable with not being liked.  And that's not to say I go out of my way to please any and everybody but if I think someone is mad at me, I can't just let it go.  Like I'll continually over think it and stress myself out.  So I'm writing about it here and I've sent my email.  And going to try to let it go now.  So there. 

At any rate, still working on the "Going Postal" space story but here's the update for the 52 week/ss challenge -

Week 1 - Ned Finally Died
Week 2 - LLFH:  Broken Things
Week 3 - The Confession
Week 4 - The Garden:  OTTM Side Story

Disclaimer:  The last 2 short stories have not been awesome but I have written them nonetheless.  Off to work on the Daily 100.

Random Pic - Yanked from FB.  This image definitely has a story waiting to be woven from it. 

Monday, February 2, 2015

Week 4 Short Story - The Garden - An OTTM Uber Short Side Story

Word Count:  311

Today I waited by the garden, hoping you might visit.  It was the only sunny day and from the cottage I thought I heard you.  It was cloudless.  Just a blue sky looked down on me.  I closed my eyes and the warmth kissed my lids. 

Then you were there.
“Cloud poop,” you said.

I said nothing.

“Looks like the works.”
I shook my head.

“Did somebody order the combo?  I see a few squirts there.”
“You’re disgusting you know that…” I said with a smile.  I’d given in and laughed despite all efforts not to let you have them so freely.  Not anymore.  In that one moment you’d stolen both. 

“You’ve abandoned your silent treatment but the cloud still poops.”
“Uncultured,” I said and we both laughed. 

I’m not sure who reached for whose hand first but we clenched the other.  I wasn’t ready to let go but then you said, “It’ll get better.”
Easy for you to say I thought at the time.  You were going somewhere and I was to stay here.  I wanted to follow you.


“It’ll get better,” you repeated.  You really wanted me to believe that.  I felt it then, the way your hand tightened and your breath deepened.  You closed your eyes.  “Whenever you come, I’ll be here.”

“But you…” I started to say when you interrupted, “trust me, it’ll get better.”  I heard your words.  I opened my eyes.  The light blinded me but I saw your face, staring back at me, and I watched as you slowly disappeared. 
I waited in this garden.  Some days I hadn’t thought of you at all but today I wondered and knew then it was time to leave the Noft.  It had restarted like you knew it would.  I only hoped that once I saw you in this life you’d remember me. 

Because I’ve been waiting.    

Feb - Dec 2015 Timeline

I believe it was James S. Bell or maybe another author who said they tend to jump around when working on revisions for a novel.  Or maybe it was just working on a novel in general.  Eh, memory is fuzzy... so long story short I'm going to try to work on multiple projects for a given month but they'll be in different stages so hopefully it won't hinder anything.  So this will be pretty similar to the timeline I posted before except different in the fact that I'm positive I won't be getting to OTTM during the first quarter.  It's a given.  In fact the only thing that might be safe are the 1st/2nd quarter but after that it'll be pretty tentative.  I'll probably have a better idea by April/May what the rest of the year will look like.  But for now I'll set my timeline for primary/secondary projects.

February 3rd - April 5th

    P:  MD - 2nd draft
    S:  TYW - Read through/Make Revision Notes
    S:  Outline/Plot April Project *not sure what this will be as of yet*

April 1st - May 17th
   P:  Novel/The April Project
   S:  TYW Revision Notes Cont'd/Make Updates
   S:  OTTM Read through

May 18th - June 30th
   P:  BREAK ... Reading
   S:  Outline/plotting for July project
   S:  __________

July 1st - August 16th
   P:  July project - TBD*
   S:  __________
   S:  __________

August 17th - September 30th
   P:  BREAK... Reading
   S:  __________
   S:  __________

October 1 - October 31st
   P:  Outline/Plot November Project
   S:  Panic/Random freak outs
   S:  __________

Nov 1 - Dec 31st
   P:  November Project - TBD
   S:  Revise/ Next draft for ____
   S:  __________

By the way it's nice to actually get in a decent hour, despite doing a couple errands and have time to actually decompose a bit.  Work was productive.  I'm still stuck on the outstanding issue but I at least worked through some other things which felt good. 

Also I ended up writing a different shorty story this evening and will be posting it instead of the space one.  I need to clean it up a bit.  This short story I'll be posting is uber short and it's sort of a side story pulled from my YA novel - OTTM. 

Random pic snatched from fb.  When I looked at this it made me think of the Noft (a place within OTTM). 

Superbowl Sunday... Happy February!

I didn't watch the Superbowl.  So the amount of information in relation to it will probably end... here.

It's late and my feet hurt, lol.  But today was productive for the typical chores such as laundry, cleaning, and such. 

- Complete SS 4
- Attend Bridal Shower

- Read a chapter from one of the bazillion novels I have open
- Groceries
- Laundry

- Project Timeline

I can't seem to get in time to read.  It's really annoying actually because I need to submerge myself into something and I'd like to get swept into a good read. 

At any rate, I'll probably work on my daily 100 and see about posting the short story tomorrow, after I read thought it again, since it's late. 

Also I've officially been blogging for a month ^_^

Random Pic:  I can't remember where I snagged this from, otherwise I'd give credit but it might've been something on fb shared.