On... Off... On... and No

Well the other day after I realized I missed the deadline for the aspiring writers' workshop I sent over an email to inquire to see if there would be a waiting list.  Turns out there was another workshop coming up in Feb with one slot open.  So I went ahead filled out an application, sent over my sample pages and today got an email informing me I'd gotten said slot.  Now the workshop isn't cheap but based on the nature of it, it felt like a good fit for me to bring MD to...

Well... my life is different from when it was just me and if I wanted to travel I could just get up and go.  So it is times like these which make it frustrating.  I've always wanted to attend a workshop but early on I felt like I never was ready (with having material) and then the funds (because they aren't cheap).  And now I've arrived to a place where I can afford it and have a project I'd like to review but can't :(

So I'm just sort of wallowing and I kept telling myself earlier 'don't get too excited, don't make it official yet until you know for sure...' and yeah.  Just a bit down by the fact that I can't.  And maybe it's for the best.  Probably should focus the money on paying off another credit card instead or whatever.  Still doesn't stop me from having a moment of 'when it was just me I could...'  At any rate I'm going to continue to pretend that I'm going because when I thought I was it really lit a fire of 'MUST FINISH SECOND DRAFT NOWWWW!' 

Part of me still hopes that I might be able to make it work but given how quick the date is coming up and such I'm not feeling confident about it but I'm going to work on trying to go. 

At any rate heading off to bed to do some late night plotting and bridge the gap in MD.  Right now I'm working in the middle of P2 of the book, I've put in P3 and trying to bring it together.  I'll probably post another chapter tomorrow too.