The list below can be read as things to do. Maybe as things not to do. Maybe it just depends on the item. Maybe it depends on the person. Maybe you should decide. Or maybe I'm just really indecisive.
I'll cosign on the latter.
How to handle rejection:
A/N: I should preface this by saying I recently received a form rejection letter. That went a little like this
"Dear Ms. Jones:
Thanks for your query.
As to your material I'm afraid I will be passing -- I'm just not
enthusiastic enough about the concept of your story to feel that I'd
be the right agent for the project. I realize it is difficult to judge
your potential from a query; nevertheless please know that I give
serious attention to every letter, outline, and writing sample I
receive.
Sorry I couldn't give you a more positive reply. Thanks for thinking
of me, though, and best of luck in your search for representation."
Now 7 years ago when I queried I think the rejections didn't bother me in the beginning but maybe as I got more I got bummed but not so bummed I stopped writing. But enough that I didn't really try to query again until I thought I had something in good condition worth querying.
And I don't think this latest effort will find me discouraged, in fact the opposite. So with that said my list for handling rejection. To be applied where ever meaningful as rejection knows no bounds.
Step 1: Get rejected.
Step 2: Stare a bit. If it's a person make them feel inadequate and acknowledge that said rejection has devastated you. If it's via communication (letter, text, email, etc) stare at it until the letters blur or until you fall asleep.
Step 3: Denial.
Step 4: Make a list of your favorite things. Food, toys, crap you wanted and couldn't afford or wouldn't buy because you're too worried about robbing Paul to pay Peter.
Step 5: Skip the list and just go buy crap. Food from your favorite expensive restaurant. In the mood for Indian? Maybe a samosa? Mmm, or some Thai food sounds good too. Then maybe some cheesecake or donuts or a yellow cake with cream cheese icing.
Step 6: Shoes looking a big ragged? Lot of holes in your cloths? RETAIL THERAPY!
Step 7: Retail Therapy is exhausting. Need to reboot and eat some more.
Step 8: Rest. When was the last time you had a good afternoon nap? Today's looking pretty good.
Step 9: Affirm your awesome-ness.
Step 10: No... you're still in denial. Because you're awesome gosh darnnit!
Step 11: Talk to your friends. Read your work. Look at accolades. Check out kudos. Again, reaffirm people knowing your awesome.
Step 12: Step back. Take a deep breath. Drink some strawberry lemonade.
Step 13: Do a healthy favorite thing... i.e. no more bad habits but a good habit like taking a hike on a favorite trail, riding your bike, reading a favorite novel... finding/doing something that inspires and/or motivates.
Step 14: Look at the rejection. Keep it in a drawer. Ink it/cement it, make it immortal but it won't define you. It'll just be a small piece apart of much larger big picture.
Step 15: Acceptance. Recognize it's not the end of the world. Take another deep breath and smile. Smile because it does things to your brain. Then get back to the world if you tapped out. And if you tapped out that was not an allotted step. So in theory you've set yourself up for failure. Tap back in immediately and pick up the start for step 3 ^_^
Okay off to write. Nighties!
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