But I'm trying to keep working at it. I think scripts just might not be the medium for me. Or maybe I just need to work on it a bit more with a different idea... Once I hit my goal I think I'll tap out and just focus on something else.
I originally had other plans tonight, should've been at a movie theater watching 'Glass' right about now but my body had its own agenda. I'm still not quite clear what's up with it but decided to play it safe.
That said I'm still annoyed with all the various thoughts that went through my head and just feeling bad with disappointing others or making something bigger in my head. I realized last year during a trip that I have this need to be liked. And watching an episode of Parks & Rec the other day where Leslie Knope dealt with the same thing made me remember my own need. However today I was annoyed by it the more I thought on it. I know it is definitely a human thing but I don't know, part of me thinks it's also a mostly female thing. I don't think guys overthink or worry about someone liking them to the extent that girls do, and if they do it's probably not on the same scale... …. At some point I just got mentally exhausted at hearing myself think, "I feel bad..." for not seeing something through.
It'll be okay.
I did note that once I got out of my reg clothes and into my comfy sleepwear part of me started to feel slightly better. So maybe I'm causing my own issues with some underlining stress/anxiety...? I know last week just before I left I got hit with stomach issues but still ventured onward because I felt bad about canceling last minute.
Again, it'll be okay.
I think this will need to my affirmation.
At any rate I finally finished "Notes of a Native Son" by James Baldwin, apparently I started reading it back in September 2018. It was not a light leave-your-brains-at-home type read. Reading it made me think of my very first novel and some essays were easier to read than others. I can see myself rereading it five years from now and being able to take away a bit more from it. It's one of those reads.
Looks like we're supposed to get some bad weather overnight so not sure if I'll make it to service in the morning or if the Sunday plans will still be a go BUT if it does looks like a day in I'd be okay with that. Because maybe I'd be able to tackle completing a read-thru of a novel.
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