Saturday, January 31, 2015

At least you got some things done...

So from my short little list I made, I did make it to the bridal shower.  The fact I didn't get through much had nothing to do with potential laziness on my part but the fact that I did other things I'd been meaning to do such as:
- File my taxes (I only got as far as capturing the 3 W2's I had, waiting on one more)
- Grandma's hair (takes about 3-4 hours)
- Shopping for niece

I also started to do a few follow up communications that I've been meaning to do.  Didn't finish but at least I started.  I have about seven that I need to get to.

I will say I had a morning boost after seeing a couple emails in my inbox in regards to TYW.  Which probably gave me the motivation I needed in order to take on completing my grandma's hair today knowing I had to attend a bridal shower.  And oh my, my niece -_-  This girl is stuck on my wearing wigs.  You know when my hair isn't done I'll throw on a wig and call it a day or if I'm just too lazy to do anything to it.  I was at the bridal shower today and my niece enjoys attention so she says "My auntie is wearing a wig" and the woman she says it to laughs and says "half of these women in here is probably wearing one".  Very true, lol. 

At any rate part of the reason I haven't done anything to it is because my hair has broken off so bad in the back.  I'm thinking about doing a big chop and possibly trying a shaved/Mohawk type style.  I think part of the problem is my diet but I also think it's probably other things too (like stress). 

Hopefully I'll post the short story tomorrow.  I'm going to work on it a bit more tonight as part of my Daily 100 goal.

Today's random pic... Piper

Friday, January 30, 2015

This week... for the birds -_- ... but TGIF!

Unfortunately this will be another quick post.  I have another headache today.  Had an issue come up with one of my projects that sort of threw me in a loop and I'm still trying to understand the situation. 

Also did a lot of stress eating today.  Might be eating for other reasons too, especially with the sweet tooth kicking in but this stressin' at work and in the evenings plus the lack of time isn't helping.  More and more I think my getaway will be something simple. I want to go somewhere warm but I'm content to make a short travel plan if I can just enclose myself and relax a bit. 

So part of me wants to make a weekend to do list, another part of me is like 'meh'.  But I need targets so I think for this weekend I'll try to:
- Complete SS 4
- Attend Bridal Shower
- Read a chapter from one of the bazillion novels I have open
- Groceries
- Laundry
- Project Timeline

The way I'm feeling right now I'm not sure I'll make it to the shower but I'm going to try.  I also received a bit of news/update that I should know more about by next week.  So stay tuned.

Also random but I totally saw the twist at the end of Scandal's winter premiere.  My other theory is that Papa Pope is somehow involved. 

At any rate off to work on the space short story. 

Thursday, January 29, 2015


Today was a pretty jam-packed day.  I had training, a few project meetings (two of which were mine), an interview, and the reward for surviving the day... TVD and Scandal. 

But it didn't start off so well.  In dropping off my niece this morning she forgot her book bag so I was extremely late for training and another meeting because I went back to my place, then back to her school to drop it off.  And I was incredibly stressed because that morning I couldn't find my updated resume, I didn't get a chance to do any prep for the interview (like doing flashcards with several types of behavioral based questions).

I do believe I did well overall.  In my early morning stress out session I remembered something about MD that I think I had an idea for awhile ago, wrote it down but never went back and did anything with it until it hit me again today.  So hopefully I'll get around to figuring out a realistic project timeline based on what I know now.  I really would like to finish up this second draft of MD.  And it'd probably be helpful if I printed out the second draft to get my mind back in the game.

Oh, I homemade sugar scrub during a CraftsMax class at work yesterday.  I made 2 batches and I'm planning on giving one to a friend during her bridal shower this weekend. 

Okay off to do my daily 100 by adding to Week 4 short story.  I'm about 500 into it.  I thin I'm going to aim for about 1k to 1500 max.  Hopefully under 1k though.

Random pic - I'm pretty sure this popped up from a Google search when I was looking for images to throw on my corkboard for the Three Year War. 

Project Almanic = Motion Sickness

I honestly don't go to the movies that often but my friend texted me this evening because she had free tix through Gofobo (or something of the sort).

Long story short, I got so queasy from watching it that I had to close my eyes and turn my head to face my friend or just duck it down because there was just too much movement.  And every time I calmed down enough to watch it again, about 10-15 minutes of bouncy movement and I was sick all over again. 

Project Almanac 

My friend arrived a bit late but I told her I was close to just leaving it was so bad.  And even once she got there I was still attempted to just walk out the theater.  It might've been because we were so super close but I think it that weird filming they do with the whole 'handheld' camera shot to make it seem authentic. 

At any rate the interview is tomorrow and I'm severely under prepared.  And tired.  So I'm off to do my daily 100 and pass out. 

Random pic for the day - STL April/May 2012

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

"Fear can never be that component that’s just keeping you somewhere..."

I pulled so much from the interview today.  Lately I feel like I've been getting a lot of signs about how/what I think about my future and what I'll do.  Really it started last year when I got laid off, had to move, and car crapped out all around the same time in April.  Ever since then I've been open, seeing and thinking about things differently. 

During today's show I had been working on one of my projects and just drawn to what the guest was talking about.  And it was weird because it was like I suddenly stopped and just was attuned to what he was saying. 

Interview with Wes Moore

I will be checking out his book too.  Going to add it to my GR list.  But doing something I'm passionate about has been running in the back of my mind for some time now.  Like I feel I could really bring something to my current role but when I think of where my heart is, it's like I see myself doing something that helps toward humanity as a whole.  Or being a detective.  That's right.  I still like doing investigative type things. 

I really wanted to write more about passion and some of the things that were stated during the program but it is late and I still have much to do.  I at least got my car note paid today.  Just need to make a partial payment to the State now. 

Off to work on my Daily 100.

Random pic brought to you by my friend Salcedo.  I believe she took this one last year. 

Monday, January 26, 2015

So very sleepy

The day was long and all I want to do now is sleep.  Had a couple unexpected errands this evening and still didn't get around to making a payment on my car note since the bank closed at 7pm.

Need to make a state payment though at least.  I think I'll do that and go read a bit.  I need some brainless activity.  Also I hope my niece watching 'The Ring' doesn't freak her out later.  The sooner I get off her the quicker she can paint. 

So wrapping this up with a random picture and off to work on the daily 100.  This is one of the images that I found that makes me think of MD. 

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Week 3 Short Story - The Confession

Goal:  1,000
Actual:  1,054

Today was good as day as any to announce my love for Jun but there was the problem of office rumors and sexual harassment should it all go wrong.  His cube mate, Reggie, had just stepped away for his pot break, or maybe it was for a cigarette, both involved smoking so I hadn’t really bothered trying to figure when he took one versus the other.  All that mattered was that I had 15 minutes to make something happen.

“Hey,” I said as casually strolled up to his cube and tapped on the edge.  I suddenly didn’t know where my hands should be.  I tried for cool, leaning against the edge of the cube opening which only managed to make me feel more awkward. 

Then there was the uncomfortable silence that followed.  Jun’s back was to me as he sat pecking away at some email tangent about the lack of intelligence and the simple fix for some line of code.  I knew it was possible that he might be in his zone, lost to his K-pop or Swiss electronica depending on the severity of the code error.  As long as music was going, it was a good sign.

I pushed off the edge of the cube and stepped forward, double checking for Reggie, and tapped Jun on the shoulder.  He was slow to move and I was glad for the timing.  Almost everyone had left the office for the day with the exception of us.  Staying late had become routine for Jun and I.  It was staying late that I began to develop a very unhealthy daydream that starred Jun and a destroyed break room. 

Jun flicked his index finger.  The universal sign for ‘give me a sec’.  At least that’s what I hoped it meant.  I heard the Swiss and realized maybe it wasn’t as good of a time as I thought. 

He gave one final push to the key as if it were a dramatic send-off but the screen had went unchanged.

“Pretty intense email there,” chuckle, “what did they mess up now,” chuckle, swoop bang, chuckle a bit more, “like, it’s Friday, seriously,” chuckle…

I’m a train wreck.

Jun shrugged, “Not really, just making a reply to some dudes comment on HuffPost.  What’s up?”

“That’s a waste of time,” I’ve said the words, it’s how I feel no doubt but Jun’s face has caused my insides to shrivel.  “I mean, there are just a lot of trolls on those type of comment threads.  It’s just, there’s no benefit, to me, I mean, if you’re looking for an actual conversation because if you actually want to discuss something like that or I mean I don’t know what you were looking at but if it were something in the news I wouldn’t be opposed to talking about it.  If you want.”

Okay here’s the opening.

“Like maybe over coffee…”

Or even dinner.  


Even dinner.   Just say it.  Spit it out already.

“Dinner.  Maybe dinner.  We could have dinner.  If you aren’t too busy.  I mean you’re a busy guy I know but it’s Friday and if you don’t have plans or if you do but you’re not excited about them, maybe you and I could go snag a bite.  I….”

Shut it.  Shut it now.  Good job.  But shut it. 

I wait.  My mouth poised open to say more and Jun just stares at me.  His mouth wide open- in shock?  Surprise?  Excitement?  Is this what he’s been waiting to hear since we became late night overachievers? 

I knew then.

I watched as Jun took a hand to his hair, his head bent down, “Listen Zo…”

I pretended my phone rang then.  I pretended to answer it.  I pretended to take a call.  I pretended the words were all intelligible as I strode away.  I pretended the tears were of joy over the pretend news that a friend of mine had finally got the pretend news that she and her pretend husband would now have the pretend family they’d been pretend trying for. 

I pretended even now as I stood outside.  I pretended I knew what I was doing at Reggie passed me his blunt. 

“That’s great for your friend,” he said to me of my pretend news.  Reggie was somewhere.  He looked very at peace in that place.  I wanted to be there.  I inhaled as hard as possible and not a second later coughed up a lung, spleen, and maybe an unborn child. 

I passed Reggie back his doobie and it didn’t seem like no time at all before he was giving it back to me.  I shook my head vehemently.  He shrugged and took another hit on my behalf.  I leaned my head against the brick building.  We were out in the alley way on a rear set off steps that had a short banister that hadn’t matched the length needed for the amount of steps. 

Stop thinking. 

I closed my eyes.

“So hey, you busy tonight?”  Reggie asked me.  “Because if you aren’t I was thinking maybe you and I-“


The world stopped.  “Oh crap.  Double crap.  Can you hear me now?”

Reggie turns to me, his eyes slightly narrowed and he gives me the biggest grin.  I’m swallowed up into a bro side hug, “Chill.  Just ride it.”

“I don’t like this.  Why can’t it stop?  Shush.  You.  Shush!  Shut it.  Just…”

“Chiiiiiiiiilllllllll.  Just let go.  Stop trying and just be.”

“No.  NO.  Noooooooooo.”

Reggie laughs and he turns back to me.  His locks and hazel eyes have found interest in something behind me but it’s like I’m seeing him for the first time.  I’m not interested but maybe there’s something there I hadn’t considered before.  Reggie eyes have found mine again, “So no for tonight?”


Just then Jun took a spot beside me.  He gave me an awkward smile and I smiled back.  He and Reggie exchanged a shake before my eyes.  I understood then.    

“It’s okay.”

“Damn straight it is,” Reggie has brought me in for another side bro hug and the giggles kick in.  The confessor became the confessed, the rejected to the rejecter, and it was okay. 

Maybe when I wasn’t so high I’d have a change in mind but I hoped I didn’t.  Because really, it was okay, it really was.    

Ransomeware, Brain Matter, and an oddly productive Sunday

It's like the moment I gave myself permission to slack.  I woke up this morning used up the last of the pancake batter, was going to make a fresh batch but I was out of eggs, washed dishes, organized the bookshelf in my room and in the living room, cleaned off my chest and reorganized it, put away my clothes.  I can actually get to my boxed manga now.  So I'm tempted to do inventory of it but I'll probably wait to do that next weekend or later tonight. 

Now I'm going to work on this before I head out.  I'm 25 days strong updating this blog... almost a month.  Woo!  At any rate I'm going to try to head out soon to do a bit of grocery shopping since I'm out of milk and eggs.  I'll probably make the payment for my state balance later today but won't be able to make my car note until tomorrow (bank's closed now). 

I would still like to work on my short stories tonight.  So if I finish those and make notes from the study I will surpass my target of completing at least five items posted on my list.

To Do list this weekend:
- Finish Week 3 SS
- Finish Week 4 SS

- Revise one chapter of MD
- Read a chapter of TYW
- Finish f/up communications
- Revised project timeline
- Finish a book
- Schedule recording time
- Complete L1 of Security Course
- Hang clothes
- Organize room bookshelf

- Manga Inventory
- Listen/post about NPR story
- Research brain/blood (?) protective matter / Alzheimer's study

- Update budget SS for Jan/Feb
- Pay car note and state balance

 So earlier this week on the DR show they spoke about Ransomeware and I remembered I'd heard about it from Lan last year.  I found the story interesting and figured I'd post it here.

There was also another show that I heard last night involving a new Alzheimer's study.  I have an interest in science, more specifically the human brain and I think some of it stems from my own fear of perhaps not recognizing a loved one or if I ever stop being the person people know me as.  So listening to this story made me think "I really want to do more in this area...".  There are so many things that interest me.  At any rate here's a link to the story about the Alzheimer's Study.  I think I'll eventually make more time to check out books about the brain.  I have a few on my GR list but I just haven't made time to read them. 

 Okay... off to run a couple errands. 

Random Picture of the Day - My attempt to do steam punk-ish cookies as part of the 2012 cookie exchange at work turned into something quite colorful. 

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Basketball Game

Considering there is less than an hour left in the day.  This will be a quick post. 

I was going to post a picture of me and my niece from today's SLU basketball game, our team won, wooo, but I figured I probably shouldn't. 

So I will say... didn't get to anything on my to do list.  I mean I did clean a bit, took my niece out to (what I believe was) her first college basketball game, and had an overall good day but none of the task on my list.  I just finished watching The Lego Movie and now I'm going to write this.  And hopefully read a chapter of *something* before I pass out. 

I will leave you with a picture from inside Chaifetz Arena instead -

Friday, January 23, 2015

Release #4 Under My Belt

I also learned today that I'll be responsible for running/leading the February release -_-

I'm not ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!1  Ugh, it's okay.  I can do this.  At least the February release is small.  I'll be working on getting myself squared away for that next week. 

I'm not sure what I'll do this weekend.  Honestly, for it to have been a short week, and it went by quick, but it was PACKED with a lot of things for me.  Long days at work, errands in the evening (like Monday helping Bonnie with her resume, Tuesday and Wednesday stopping at my sister, yesterday errands and TVD, then tonight a release). 

I haven't been able to do any MD revisions.  I've had story ideas, especially during my morning route to drop my niece off.  I keep having ideas right around this stretch of street.  I forgot this morning's idea but I'm sure it'll come back to me.

But right now, I just want to go sit in the recliner and do some light reading or viewing, probably reading.  I really want to read since I'm so behind with it. 

I'm going to try to complete at least five of these...

To Do list this weekend:
- Finish Week 3 SS
- Finish Week 4 SS
- Revise one chapter of MD
- Read a chapter of TYW
- Finish f/up communications
- Revised project timeline
- Finish a book
- Schedule recording time
- Complete L1 of Security Course
- Hang clothes
- Organize room bookshelf
- Manga Inventory
- Listen/post about NPR story
- Research brain/blood (?) protective matter / Alzheimer's study
- Update budget SS for Jan/Feb
- Pay car note and state balance

Okay, I think there's more I meant to throw on here but I'm tired.  And need to work on the Daily 100.  Nighties ^_^

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Oh Thursday, how I missed thee

I got in a bit late so I might have missed the first few minutes of TVD but aw, how I missed my tv watching.  It seriously is the one day of the week in which I allow myself to indulge in watching tv since I really don't watch most of it.  And after today I really looked forward tonight.

Got some things done but I still need to prep for the release tomorrow night so this will be another short post since I need to try to work on the files a bit more.  I'm kind of ready to pass out now but it probably won't happen.

And today has definitely had it's moments.  I think I just need a break. 

Off work on the daily 100. 

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The Interview

Oh how I hate them.  And it hasn't been that long since I've done one.  So I finished the questionnaire the other day and today I received a follow up stating I need to provide some required info by 2pm today.  Which I wasn't sure would happen due to the fact I don't have a smart phone and gmail is blocked at work but the HR rep forward it to my work email so I finished that and within the same day I got a note about scheduling my interview (as in this Friday from 11a-12p).  Part of me wants to just do it this week and get it over with (so I don't overthink it like I typically do) but seems like such a quick turn around.  There are some slots available next week.  Ugh... frickin hate interviews.

Oh also did some crafting today at work.  If I weren't so lazy I'd post a picture of it.  I'll try to this weekend. 

In unrelated news had an idea while driving for the story I've been using as part of my daily 100 goal.  Still not sure when I'll get to MD.  I have it on the brain.  But just haven't been able to sit down to work on it. 

And speaking of driving, while taking my niece to school today she has this thing where she tries to sync up her Nabi to the car stereo.  So I have a mix cd and she'll do a count off so we can start the song at the same time.  She says it sounds like a microphone.  But as we were doing that and before she flipped out over something else, there was a moment of just appreciating small things.  Knowing that made her happy and just enjoying the car ride listening to the same tune. 

At any rate off to work on the daily 100 and hopefully to bed soon. 

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Quick update

This won't be a long post.  Worked late.  Picked up my niece.  Stopped at my sisters.  Stayed late there.  Detoured to Wally World.  Got home late.  I'm tired. 

Today was a hectic day at work and tomorrow will probably be about the same since I still need to prepare for the release Friday night.  I was asked to train one of my co-workers on performing a validation today which in one sense is pretty cool given I've only been there about 4 months. 

In other news no major task accomplished today other than making it through Tuesday and ready for the weekend.  I really wanted some time to escape into a book tonight but that's not going to happen.  So I'll settle for updating this, working on my daily 100 (by adding to my "SpaceSlave" story), and hopefully get my niece and I to bed within the next 10 minutes.  Woo hoo!

Monday, January 19, 2015

Happy MLK Day

It just occurred to me that I probably should've tried to read his speech.  Aw #auntfail

So I'm behind in my writing.  I didn't get the chance to complete my week 3 short story yet.  I might work on it once I finish this entry but honestly I probably need to get me and the niece to bed soon to get ready for Tuesday. 

I did manage to complete the following today (to tack on top of yesterday's accomplishments):
- Washed laundry (and actually put it away too!)
- Worked with Bonnie on resume/application submission (this wasn't on the list but something I'd been working on, it's sort of wrapped up in another task that was listed)
- Completed skills questionnaire (which was late so I'm not sure if they'll take it or not)

And did I mention I'm writing on my newly cleaned desk?  It really is nice to see it again. 

So again I failed on the reading aspect and revisions which will just bleed into the week.

With cleaning off my desk, the next round of cleaning will involved organizing the mail I sorted out to be filed and shredding the other items.  Also need to invest in a new paper shredder. 

Off to work on the daily 100. 

Sunday, January 18, 2015

I can see the top of my desk again!

Yay for getting through some of my items for this weekend.  Still need to do some other things but at least I can say I:
- Treated my niece yesterday (went out to eat with her plus mi madres and GA)
- Put away laundry
- Cleared off my desk
- Begun organizing my closet
- Packaged In-Drive Tech for return
- Did my hair

And hopefully tomorrow I'll get a little bit more done.  Like moving some books onto my bookshelf.  Work on some revisions and do a bit reading.  I still need to finish Week 3's shorty story which I might work on after this entry.  But part of me just wants to read.

I literally tried to work through as much as I could today once the 'chore' bug hit me.  It's like I have to just keep going and not be satisfied with having a task checked off.  I had to take advantage of it because  I knew once I sat down I might not get up to do much else.  So it just happened that after I made some pancakes from scratch (my niece kept begging for them) that I washed dishes while listening to NPR, then moved the hamper full of clean clothes to my room and began hanging stuff up, cleaning/re-organizing clothing drawers, sorting things on my desk I needed to file vs. what could be discarded (or might need to be shredded) and let my niece.  So overall a productive day on the cleaning front.  Still more to organize but at least I can see my desk.

The friend who read my 2013 nano also contacted me today to let me know that he was considering rereading the book!  To me, that either is a sign of a good read and wanting to re-live something or there are elements of the story still lingering or ... ... ... whatever the case that makes me happy.  I really need to sit down and finish reading it myself but I gave out all my paperback copies :\

I also got some very encouraging news about MD and feeling motivated about seeing the second draft through.  This novel definitely has elements about it that I love but it has given me grief but at the same time.  I SEE the end goal.  It's getting there that's the problem.

I will say.  I do love that feeling.  When I read a bit of encouragement in regards to my novels this week.  Each time I was given a boost.  I felt those doubts about my writing shrink to the shadows and that overwhelming feeling of "I can do this" triumph.  If only I can bottle it and nibble on bits of that as if it were a daily vitamin or right before I sat down to write on my now clean desk (clean for now I should say). 

Anywho, I probably need to work on finishing that questionnaire tonight.  Work on the daily 100 and try to finish week 3's short story.  Definitely need to finish the questionnaire tonight and work on tackling the remaining items tomorrow.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

The sounds of a quiet Saturday morning

It was so awesome to not have to hear anything.  Niece was still sleep.  Mom was apparently gone, scared the mess out of me when I heard someone opening the door and it her.  LOL, hadn't realized she'd left out so early.  And she didn't wake me up for the car keys, just hopped on the bus. 

So now it's time to get set for the day.  So for Saturday I'm planning on tackling some of the things from the To Do list I posted yesterday as well as a few others:

 - Put away laundry (from NYE)
 - Complete Week 3 SS (per 52 week/SS challenge)
 - Complete skill questionnaire (send by 1/16)
- Create/send second list of jobs
 - Grocery shop/cook for GA
- Treat niece for lunch
- Catch a movie
- Prep for kickoff meeting
- Daily 100

I'm past due on completing the skill questionnaire but I'll still work on doing it today anyway.  Hopefully I should complete all these things today. 

Friday, January 16, 2015

That Friday Feeling...

There's nothing like it.  It's that knowledge of knowing that it's you and 2 days between when you have to be back at work.  Not like Saturday when you start working out the hours of one more day to sleep in late m and definitely NOT Sunday when you're stomach is just churning with knowing it'll be Monday. 

Monday sucks.

But this Monday is a holiday.  And so this Friday is a little extra special because there are 3 days between you and when you need to be back into work.  Next Friday is a release night too which means I'll be WFH but also I have to log onto the computer Friday evening at 6:30pm and potentially make myself available on Saturday but I need to confirm the latter.

Work was crazy busy today.  I got a new project and have another new project coming up on Wednesday.  Currently I have about 8 projects I'm responsible for whereas my seasoned coworker is holding down the fort with like 20-30 projects to manage and some are quite complex.  Not to say there aren't a few of the ones I'm managing that have their challenges but it's a lot. 

And now, the new person that had started in December made today her last day.  She wasn't happy with the role and due to some other things just decided to call her firm and let them know that she wouldn't try to last until March (which is the end date for most of us contractors).  It sucks because I liked her and she had lasted longer than the guy who started back when I did (back in October).  She'd been trying to hint it to me too and finally just let me know today was it.  It's sort of a running joke on the team about leaving/quitting so when she would say something I just figured it was part of that.  But nope, she apparently had her foot out the door and when she made the decision a huge weight was lifted off her.  The migraine she'd been having left.  And she felt like herself again.

I know what that is like.  So I completely understood but I'm sad and just... there's a lot to this job.  A lot of tedious work and a lot of projects to manage.  There really does need to be about 4 people in this role but now it's back to two since the guy who trained me started his new job on Monday.  And the seasoned co-worker has one foot out the door too (she's had several interviews).  So then it feels like it may fall on me should I continue the application process. 

Speaking of that, that's one of the outstanding items I still need to complete.  So updated To Do list for the 3 day weekend:

 - Put away laundry (from NYE)
- Wash/Laundry
 - Finish a book
- Complete Week 3 SS (per 52 week/SS challenge)
- Mya homework
 - Complete skill questionnaire (send by 1/16)
- Create/send second list of jobs
 - Clean off desk
 - Update budget ss
- Revise project list timeline
- Work on MD revision
 - Twist hair
- Write pod idea/script for studio (by 1/13)
- Grocery shop/cook for GA

Okay time to make that daily 100 quota. 

Thursday, January 15, 2015

It's Jan 15th, do you know where you are in Revision-Land?

Today has been quite the busy day but oddly productive work wise.  I realized last night that while it might not feel like it at times I'm getting things done even as I actively push back/delay others.  For instance last night was supposed to be my studio time in the library but I had to forego that due to having to get my niece from school.  Initially I was thinking this would be an activity I would try to do after work, and just make a straight shot to the library after work but that's not a feasible option so now I'm going to attempt on booking a Saturday to go in and use the recording room.  Which stays quite booked btw.
This will be a fairly quick post as I need to head to bed soon.  I'll try to work on the revised project list tomorrow. 

So to update, my to do list for this week involved the following items and so far I've knocked out a few.

- Work on 2015 project timeline
- Create list of all active projects & status

- Put away laundry
- Finish a book
- Complete skill questionnaire (send by 1/16)
- Create/send second list of jobs
- Complete Week 2 Short Story (per 52 Wk/SS challenge)
- Clean off desk
- Pick up/return library books (1/14)
- Update budget ss
- Twist hair
- Write pod idea/script for studio (by 1/13)
- Start on Week 3 Short Story

Still haven't gotten any reading in yet.  Since I have a three day weekend I'm hoping to get in some reading. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

The Good, The Bad... THE PROJECTS

Today has been quite the day.  There have been highs and lows.  I randomly got a teary-eyed as I rode by my friend's old townhome and thought about her father who passed in November.  I had to take mi madres for some nerve/muscle testing for potential damage.  And I just had this recurring thought about my own ideas around mortality.  The first two short stories I've written have involved being dead/dying.  Granted my week 3 short story is about a love confession, I still feel like I've had death on the brain. 

For instance I wrote down "The Ghost Story" in my notebook a couple weeks back and today while waiting for the doctor I started thinking about a novel idea I had years ago and a scene of friends in this gigantic mansion.  And the line which stood out was "a dead girl brought us here...." or "we're all here because of a dead girl".  Then I had the idea of sort moving the story back, from the prospective of the dead girl, back when she was still alive some time before and how exactly she got this group of friends to go to this mansion (which is no ordinary place).  I think when I originally had this idea it was a haunted house but now that it's back on my radar I feel like the idea might be shifting a bit.  Stay tuned.

At any rate this post was intended to be about my projects.  Maybe not all of them but the ones that are sort of active in my brain in some form.  I've been meaning to capture this for awhile  So here are the projects that I'm actively pursuing in some way and where it's at:

1.  TYW - The Three Year War - reading; prep for 2nd draft
2.  MD - Montgomery's Diary - editing/revising; 2nd draft I/P
3.  OTTM  - Orders to the Magician - need to read; outline for 3rd/4th draft
4.  WL - Winter Lily - 1st draft; on hold; capturing plot points
5.  TLS - The Last Stop - capturing notes; capturing plot points
6.  FY - Forever Young - 1st draft; on hold; capturing plot points
7.  FG - Fantasy Girl - 1st draft; on hold; capturing plot points
8.  TFC - The Fortune Cookie - 1st draft; on hold

And I believe there are some other projects that have randomly poked in my head (such as the ghost story mentioned earlier).  But these will probably be the ones I touch this year in some form.

So back in October I created the following timeline:
(I'll omit Oct-Dec 2014 since these months have come and gone)

Jan '15
- Edit/Review TYW
- MD Revisions

Feb '15
- Revise TYW
- Read through OTTM
- Outline OTTM

Mar '15
- Revise TYW
- Outline OTTM

April '15 - June '15
- Write/Complete OTTM 3rd draft

June '15 - Aug '15
- Outline TLS or TFC
- Write/Complete TLS or TFC

And you know I wrote down things for September - November like editing the 3rd draft of OTTM, revising, and outlining for Nano.  But this schedule needs a bit of tweaking.  Now that I've done this, maybe tomorrow I'll revisit this list and edit it to be more realistic. 

Off to take care of the daily 100. 

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Don't Tell People Your Dreams. Show Them.

I'm working from home today and tomorrow. 

The last few days there have been a lot of things on my mind.  I've been feeling slightly overwhelmed by it and encouraged in others. 

I broke away from work stuff to stop at one of my fave spots and saw this on Maggie Steifvater's Tumblr -

Reading that gave me a bit of a boost of knowing I can do this.  I can do this and other things.  It's a lot but it's achievable. 

I probably won't write it up all here since I have a meeting coming up but I guess what I'm getting is that this cold is messing with me feels/thoughts, lol. 

I will say all this writing has my mind going again.  Years ago when I decided to become serious about my writing I got ideas all the time and was constantly writing them down then around 2010 or 2011 they slowed or maybe I stopped writing them down as much or maybe a combination but my ideas, when they did come, were much more concentrated and weren't as loosy goosy. 

I was reminded of this commercial recently.  I forget what I was watching when it came on but I like it nonetheless - (GE Commercial "Ideas are scary").

Monday, January 12, 2015

The Super Short Post

It was a busy day at work today.  And I still need to wrap some notes around activities over the last week or so.  The big 3-0 is approaching and I really want to take a trip but then I find myself thinking about other things and fear it might not be possible.

At any rate the evening is wearing down and there is still much to do. 

52 Week/Short Story Challenge Update

Good gracious... so hard to write a short story for a novel you've had in your mind for who knows how long.  I legitimately thought I could take an aspect of it and write about it without getting into the novel but as it went that was not the case -_-

I think I might make a go at doing pieces from this particular novel in short story format, if I can swing it but trying to get this under 1500 was hard.  But it's a good way of working another set of writing muscles.  I think from now on I'll just aim for an overall goal of not going over 5k instead of a new WC goal each week. 

To recap-

Week 1 - Ned Finally Died
Week 2 - LLFH:  Broken Things

Okay now I thinking I'm going to head to bed and hope that the weather is crappy enough that they'll close the campus OR I can just work from home. 

Week 2 Short Story - Love Letters for Hire - Broken Things

Goal: 1500
Actual:  1377

Everyone called him “Q” except me.  I knew Q by another name and under a different set of circumstances that he seemed unable to remember.  So I watched him in his tiny apartment.  His body hunched over his desk blocking the only beam of yellow light from an old college lamp that had survived countless moves and evictions.  His hands stroked the few stubs of hair on his chin.  He was trying hard for that beard.  I chuckled but I never dismissed his effort. 

I shouldn’t be here I thought.  I knew it had to stop.  And despite his better judgment he still needed me. 

“I don’t know… Thoughts?  These always seem to go badly,” Q said just as Glenn opened the door into the dark apartment. 

“Hi to you too,” Glenn said as he pushed the door open enough to enter.  There was so much more blocking Q’s door these days.  “Still puzzled by this assignment?”  Q didn’t answer and my eyes narrowed at Glenn. 

“Well let me make it easy for you.  You’re behind.  You don’t have the luxury of being picky about the assignment.  You should be happy that he even came to you.”

Q shook his head, “he came to you.”

“And we’re supposed to be in this together.  Where’s your friend anyway?”

That was my que.  That was supposed to be the moment that I used the little strength I had left to rustle a piece of paper, make a cold chill against Glenn’s skin, knock over a vase, but I hadn’t the energy anymore.  More importantly I hadn’t the desire to.  Though Glenn, for him, I thought I could muster something the moment he got ready to leave.  An accidental slip and head to wall mesh up.  It was that kind of day.

Q shrugged, “He stopped talking to me.”

This was where I had to sigh.  There were fundamental things that Q still had yet understood.  I used to yell “I’m female you idiot” but that grew old quick.  And there was something about observing a guy uninhibited when he knew he was being haunted but hadn’t cared.  Then again Q wasn’t really being haunted and that had been the second thing he hadn’t understood.  Nor had I. 

“And that’s your sign,” Glenn said, “Take the assignment.  This guy will pay just about anything.”

“I don’t know,” Q started, “Why does this guy even want my help?”

“The universe sends you a favor and you spit in its face.  Maybe your ghost friend had something to do with it.  Hell if I know but I do know you need to get out of this funk… And you need to shower,” Glenn said backing away from Q.

Sometimes I hated how right Glenn was.  Swinging Q’s chair around Glenn looked Q straight on, “Look I know I don’t understand everything.  I honestly won’t try to but he’s here and he wants to- hey who’s that?”

“He’s here?” Q and I said simultaneously though no one heard me but Q brushed the hairs that stood up on his forearm.  So maybe.  Just maybe. 

“Who is this?” Glenn repeated.

Q didn’t look back at the sketch and that made me curious.  I walked over, closer to the desk just as Glenn lifted the sketchbook.  I was staring at fifteen year old me as recollected by Q except he hadn’t known that. 

“Who is she?” Glenn asked just as a light tap came at the door.

Q shrugged, “It’s been stuck in my head for a while.  I keep thinking-,” and Q stopped.  I watched as Glenn flipped through the sketchbook.  My breath caught as I watched myself on a backyard swing, another portrait of me smiling, me sleep on a couch, and me aging. 

I looked around the room again.  When had it happened?  I looked at my hands.  When had so much time passed?  The door creaked as a familiar face peaked from the side of it.  “Is it okay to come in?”

Glenn looked at Q and a look transpired between them.  Q’s face registered the typical ‘I just got caught’.  Why should he have felt guilty I mused.  How anyone could be held at fault for what they couldn’t remember.  I was smiling but Glenn wasn’t.  Glenn seemed twitchy, uncomfortable in his own skin.  His face held an odd twinkling and to me, Glenn had never held anything, he was nothing outside of being an acquaintance of Q’s but now I wondered.  Had I underestimated his involvement this entire time?

The client entered then.  The client, Aaron P. Winston III, was a bulky fellow.  A ginger with money and that was all that needed to be said about Aaron because everything else fell within the bounds of stereotypical spoiled kid except the fact that he was in love.  Real bad.  He was desperate for help, having tried just about everything and Q was his last hope according to an ad that had mysteriously flown directly into his frothy beer one evening while out with friends.  Who were all annoying but at least had decent taste in beer. 

Q wasn’t a fixer.  He could be a fixer and had had some successful attempts in the past with words that healed the broken but they never ended quite right in Q’s eyes.  So what does a guy with a knack for composing romantic letters do when he fails at fixing a broken thing?  He draws the love he can’t remember.  He becomes stalked by her odd state of being.  And he addresses her as his ghost friend. 

“Sorry,” Aaron said as he entered, shoving the door and the junk behind it a little bit further into the room to make way for his massive frame.  “Will he?” 

Aaron turned his attention to Glenn but he was still preoccupied.  His eyes focused on the room waiting for something to happen and for the first time in a long time I wanted to move an object.  But I didn’t.

“Yeah,” Glenn mumbled.  Q shrugged, not bothering to argue and headed to his room to change.  This was good.  Q needed this but now I wondered about the promise.  The promise I made to myself.

Q changed quicker than I remembered and was at the door.  “We need to have a session.”

Glenn smiled.  I smiled too.  This was good. 

“I need to know everything,” Q said to Aaron directly.  “Honesty makes for a better sound.”

Aaron nodded. 

“Let’s get this show on the road then,” Glenn said leading the charge as they exited the apartment.  The locks clicked into place.  I was left alone.  The clocked had only sounded for two ticks before the door was opened again and Glenn entered. 

He walked around the room.  His hand roamed across the surface of things, barely touching them, as we walked the entire parameter of the apartment until finally he arrived in front of the tiny desk with its little yellow light.  Q never turned it off and yet the bulb seemed to never blow out.  He never asked why. 

Glenn picked up the sketchbook.  He smiled and my skin crawled.  His fingers caressed a portrait of me.  “I should’ve known,” he started.   “Even if he forgot you won’t let him.  What happened to the promise?”

Glenn stood directly in front of me, his breath on my face, “He’s okay.  So you need to hold up your end of the bargain.”

There it was.  Where it had been the entire time, one of many pieces to the puzzle I’d still been trying to figure out.  Glenn wasn’t some random person, he was a part of it somehow and now I had been found out. 

Glenn sat the sketchbook down and picked up Q’s notebook.  In his rush he’d left it.  “Don’t forget it,” he said as he exited for the final time. 

It was true.  I’d made a promise and I’d broken it often to be near Q.  I knew I had to leave.  There were things I needed to do.  Things that couldn’t involve Q but I would still scout for him even if he didn’t know it.  I had to leave him again but that was okay because I knew I’d be back. 

Sunday, January 11, 2015

I'm not sure where the day went...

But seeing as there's less than an hour left I figured I'd better write to keep up the daily habit of blogging here and writing 100.  I'm still working on Week 2's short story so I should have it posted later tonight or tomorrow.

I mean I really feel like I didn't accomplish anything today -_-  I did have to go back and add initials to my niece's scarf and I did take her home, only to turn back around and pick her up but somehow the day is gone.  I know part of the problem is sleeping until 11am ish, almost noon before I finally got up.  Then I watched the Golden Globes this evening.

So there's probably no reason to re-post my list because I have not tackled another item on there and probably won't with the exception being the short story.  I'll have to work on some of those items throughout the week which brings me to my TO DO:  The Weekday List ;)

I honestly have some deadlines for the week for a few of these so they'll likely get done. 

- Work on 2015 project timeline
- Create list of all active projects & status
- Put away laundry
- Finish a book
- Complete skill questionnaire (send by 1/16)
- Create/send second list of jobs
- Complete Week 2 Short Story (per 52 Wk/SS challenge)
- Clean off desk
- Pick up/return library books (1/14)
- Update budget ss
- Twist hair
- Write pod idea/script for studio (by 1/13)
- Start on Week 3 Short Story

Okay I need to finish this short story.

EDIT:  Story finished ^_^ ... Going to go ahead and throw working on the next one to the list.  Just saw this and might check it out for Week 3 -

Saturday, January 10, 2015

To Do Update (Weekend of 1/9)

So this will be another quick post. 

I just finished cooking a really late dinner (taco night!) and my niece wants company at the table. 

Anywho I was able to knock out the following things today:

- Work on 2015 project timeline
- Create list of all active projects & status
- Make grocery list
- Grocery shop

- Put away laundry
- Finish a book
- Complete skill questionnaire
- Create/send second list of jobs
- Work on/complete Week 2 Short Story (per 52 Wk/SS challenge)
- Clean off desk
- Finish knitting scarf for niece
- Sleep

I got in a lot more reading today than I thought.  Enough to get me in the book that I might finish it.  Hopefully. 

I also started my short story.  It's about 700 ish words long (which means I made my daily 100 for the day) and I'm going to shoot for finishing it tonight after din din. 

Fingers crossed that tomorrow is more productive.  I wasn't very good with the budget.  I overspent by about $50 but most of it was on my credit card which means I went against not using one this weekend.  Next weekend I'll budget better.

Off to eat some chicken tacos ^_^

Friday, January 9, 2015

To Do: A list about lists

This always happens.  It reaches the end of the week.  And all the other night where I should've gone to bed early, especially with being sick, but I didn't.  Finally it is Friday night.  I kept dinner simple (through pizza in the oven), stopped at a couple stores to pay on my credit card, plus paid other bills and now I'm sleepy. 

But for the purposes of having a productive weekend I have "TO DO" the list about making other list, lol.  No really, this will be a short post but I do want to type out some items as not to forget...

- Work on 2015 project timeline
- Create list of all active projects & status
- Make grocery list
- Grocery shop
- Put away laundry
- Finish a book
- Complete skill questionnaire
- Create/send second list of jobs
- Work on/complete Week 2 Short Story (per 52 Wk/SS challenge)
- Clean off desk
- Finish knitting scarf for niece
- Sleep

There are some other things I need to do but, lol, this is overshare/boring enough already.  My priority items will be the writing related items, I mean I definitely need to grocery shop but I really need to start looking at my projects and figuring out how to achieve my BIG 2015 resolution.  I did hear back from a friend yesterday that she finished my novel.  So now I must follow up with her to for ze feedback -_-.

Well I'm probably going to go work out the grocery list then work on the daily 100.  I'm doing a strict budget this week for groceries but I might need to use my cc to purchase vitamins and health stuff.   I'm going to try hard not to though (as paying off/down my debt is quite important). 

EDIT 1/10:  Had to add something.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

That Feeling Of...

Bleh because it doesn't stop. 

I will say this is the first evening (from the last couple days) that I didn't reach for the nasal decongestant when I got in AND I didn't have to stop at the grocery store even though I was tempted to try to do a taco night.  But I just kept thinking of the cost of buying everything.  Even when my mind went 'well, just use the tilapia and make fish tacos'.

Then there was the whole 'I really don't feel like cooking tonight'.  Work was heavy with meetings and task and things I couldn't get to today and pressure and head just wanting to explode from all the crap in it.  If it were only me to eat I'd be content in yesterday leftovers but I knew mi madres probably wanted me to cook as did my niece.  So I nibbled on something, let the fish unthaw and went to work on preparing the fish two ways and letting my niece help with the insta 'taters and green beans.

Typically Thursday night is the one night where I'll get take out as sort of a reward to myself for surviving the work week thus far PLUS it's the one day of the week where I sit down to actually watch tv.  However everything is still on break and I'm really try to make a better effort at budgeting again.  It can be difficult when you're not just taking care of yourself. 

Last night after dinner we worked on my nieces book "The Caterpillar and the Butterfly" which I'm sure I misspelled caterpillar (forgot the first 'r' in each instance).  Of course today she corrected me about the title.  I knew I got it wrong last night but it seemed every time she repeated she said it differently.  So we whipped out my sketchbook and I drew her some storybook like large panels, per page, with a bit of space at the bottom for text.  I had her tell me the story and she later went back to illustrate it.  She did a pretty good job so now I just need to bind it up for her so she can show everyone her first book ^_^

Also I nearly had a moment earlier when it appeared my internet wasn't connecting on my laptop and I thought I might actually not be able to post tonight.  I figured I could at the very least still write the entry in Word and then post it once I got it back up but I'd still be breaking the chain :-(  It's bound to happen so I need to figure a back up method or just accept that someday the forces that may be might just say 'not today chica'. 

Okay, maybe I might reach for that spray.  And some pain pills.

I still need to work on my writing timeline for projects since at the moment I'm not working on any of my completed drafts.  I'm at least doing work on this potential new project and mostly its because I really like using it to hit my daily 100, also both the leads fascinate me.  And must make time to read.  READDDDD.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

That Moment When...

You hesitate to respond to an email because they've used your full name (first and last, not middle because that would be a definite indication of spam).  But part of me thinks it might've been due to differences in culture and technically they were responding to something I posted -_-  I think I will respond back.

At any rate, I've had to go somewhere everyday this week as soon as I've gotten off work.  My niece definitely eats.  I think the day before yesterday she called me about orange juice and milk.  Then today she called for more milk and OJ.  But I was pretty sure I didn't need milk however the OJ I could see since my mother drinks it whenever her blood sugar drops.  And I only buy half gallons of each since me and my mother probably go through milk once every 3-4 weeks and juice every 1-1.5 weeks.

I had another thing scheduled this evening but it's been delayed for next week.  Since my niece will be back in school next week I won't feel so guilty about setting up things in the evening.  Like studio time in the recording room next Wednesday from 5-7pm!  So I'm thinking I'll try to utilize the time to understand some of the tools for recording and if time due a brief recording for a potential podcast blog entry next week.  Stay tuned!  And hopefully my voice will be back.  Granted it won't matter since listening to myself is weird -_-

I also need to treat me and my mom to a movie.  I haven't had the chance to take her out so hopefully one of these evenings (maybe Sunday or Tuesday).  Honestly there isn't much I want to see.  Just like my taste for books, my interest in movies has declined.  I think I'm growing more and more particular about how I spend my time (or how I waste it).  Because there are definitely some non-productive ways one can delightfully waste their time doing like - the internetz, sleeping, daydreaming, looking up vacations you can't afford, re-reading books, watching tv, dancing around the clutter of your room, and did I mention daydreaming?  Oh and facebook, but I  proactively try to avoid wasting time on there. 

I suppose if I'm to get in my daily 100 I better wrap this up.  I've been focusing on a possibly new project and sort of doing a character profile each day to achieve my goal of 100.  Right now I'm working on my male lead.  Initially I heard the female's voice first but I've been writing about him these last few days.  Hopefully this little bit of time I spend each day in this world will equate to a novel sometime this year.  I may use tomorrow's post to take a deeper look at projects and maybe create a high level plan of attack for getting at least one new first draft completed this year.  Mmm, must think on this.

And lastly, checked in on Myfitnesspal, since I'm supposed to try to weight in weekly but sometimes I forget or if I do, I forget to log it but I've lost 6.5 lbs since 11/29, woo hoo!  Though I have to continue to be proactive in my health/decision making.  And I'm pretty sure I'm going to cancel my club fitness membership.  I've had it less than a month but eh, I just don't like it.  Nor do I like paying for something if I'm not very actively using it. I'm not up for being one of these people that pay for a memberships and don't' use it so I'll be canceling it tomorrow. 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Oh Nasal Decongestant Spray, I heart thee

It seems rare but it probably happens more times that I can appreciate but after battling with my nose today and having trouble breathing on and off today I decided to try a nasal decongestant my mom had.  It worked almost instantly in seems and now I'm breathing easy.  I mean it broke up whatever was in there. 

So yay!  My inner ear canal seem to be a bit bothersome so I'm hoping I don't have an ear infection or anything of the sort. 

In sort of related news, I've been drinking coffee due to this slight cold too.  Kind of want some now. But I'm too lazy to make a pot so I'm just going to get some water and pop a popsicle in my mouth and read a chapter of a novel sent to me yesterday.  I'm really going to be proactive in making this a productive year and try to work on finding a good/reliable CP. I really do feel like I'll be querying again this year.  At any rate I suppose if I'll get to my daily 100 and this reading I better get to it.

And in random quotes for the day my niece asked me, "Do Queens like to eat a lot?  Because I'm a Queen and I like to eat a lot."

She's been playing dress up the last couple days and right now she's in one of mom's old dresses that's gold and wearing my 'click clack' shoes.  I had just spoke to her about all the cookies she's going through and how I haven't had one of the sugar cookies yet which then prompted her to offer me the cookie she had proceed with the above question/statement.

And one final cookie quote from my niece "I'm good at eating cookies."  She's so matter of fact.

Apologies for any spelling/grammar errors.  Starting to feel a bit more lethargic. 

Monday, January 5, 2015

Learning Pains / Growing Pains / Sick Pains ... All sorts of pains

This will definitely be a short post today.  I've sort of been progressively getting worse.  I don't sound as bad as I did earlier but now my neck is hurting.

I made it into work today and sort of felt like an a** because I was hacking at my cube.  But I did feel decent honestly but I still can't help think there might have been people near me wondering why I came.

But it was the first day since the holiday and I figured I might be able to get some answers on projects I'm assigned.  Still a bit of a cluster but working at it.  I definitely had a moment of 'this job sucks' and it's mostly because I feel inadequate.  It's a new job for me and I'm still learning.  I have a couple projects that are just really ensuring I'm learning, lol, I guess that's the nice way to put it.  When I think I'm on top of something I discover 'nope... not quite.'  It also took me, and I'm still not finished, a minute to start up on a test run for something that will be due on Friday.  Sometimes I get so lethargic plus being sick I just had to keep staring at the examples and directions for 10 minutes, then would forget what I was doing or would wander away and do something else.  In short, not very focused or if I was they occurred in tiny burst. 

One good thing about today is I had some ideas in regards to stories I'm working on.  The bad news is I was so out of it that I forgot to write 'em down.  I'm sure they'll hit me again once I sit down to write tonight (since I have to get in my daily 100). 

I was unusually anxious about my niece today at work too.  I get worried easily.  So seeing her when I got in was good plus she called me because her and my mom were watching for me to get in.  She told me if I didn't get in soon I wouldn't get my surprise gift she got me -_-

Sunday, January 4, 2015

The Ceiling Fan Principle

Today has not been a productive day.  And there is work tomorrow.  If only I could slide more hours into the day or be better about managing my time.  Granted today I watched my nieces and nephew.

Any who I've been thinking a lot about my novel "The Three Year War" a friend recently gave me some feedback on the novel, actually on New Years Day which definitely made my day.  Of course he noted there were a lot of grammar and spelling errors but it was a first draft.  However what I took away was that he liked the characters, story, and said "excellent ending" 0_0

I had thought the ending might be too vague and I should wrap some of the scenes I'd omitted.  I still might but he did say the beginning was a bit sluggish and it picked up halfway through.  I've observed this as well.  The first chapter hooks you but afterwards it's a bit snoozeville.  It's been in the back of my mind and last night one of the index cards I put in front of my clustered desk caught my eye.  It's goes something along the lines of a-

"The Ceiling Fan PrincipleIt boils down in NOT asking what happens next in a story but what goes wrong."

So I've made some notes for scenes and things I'd like to work into TYW that I'm hoping to slip in earlier chapter to help with the pacing of the story and give more about the world.  But as I do this, one of the things I'll be using in my toolkit will be asking myself 'what goes wrong?..."

Well I'm going to do a few errands, hopefully get in some reading time and then start working on Week 2's Short Story which will be a side story for an idea I had years ago called "Love Letters for Hire".  Or I could always change my mind. 

In unrelated news, might be getting sick.  Throat is scratchy :(

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Resolutions Update

Three days in and I've given up!

No, not really.  However I have decided to add another item.

#14 - Pay off a debt

Now last year I paid off two small student loans which felt awesome.  This year I'd like to pay off another debt like credit card or this one student loan that is in my mother's name. 

I also worked on booking studio time at the library's recording room but none of the slots I wanted were available.  Well Wednesday evening was but I already had plans.  I might try for Tuesday.

I also signed up for two upcoming online courses.  There's this songwriting one and music production one that I need to see when it might be offered again.

Also posted the first short story per ze challenge.

I went back and forth on rather to call it "Ned Finally Dies" or "Ned Finally Died" but I think the way I heard it on the radio, which stuck to me was as the latter.

Week 1 - Ned Finally Died 

Off to do groceries and hopefully finish reading a book.  Might even try to create a piece of art this evening.  I have even been trying to figure out travel plans.  I think the key for me being successful with some of my resolutions will be knocking some out as early as possible.

Week 1 Short Story - Ned Finally Died

Goal: 500 Words
Actual: 495 Words

It was a cold day in December when Ned decided to die. 
It was also the same day I decided to die too. 

I found him at the withered cemetery by the forgotten park with its desolate pond.  It seemed to be the perfect place for two careless souls.
“I just died again,” Ned said as I sat beside him.  The first thing I noted, aside from the fact that he could see me, was how much dead-er he seemed.  I was newly cemented in comparison.  I’d only wandered around for an hour before I found Ned.

The other thing was that Ned smiled.  A toothless, purple gum smile and I wondered if it was the act of dying and bad dental hygiene that his mouth was so out of shape or did death rapidly decay the spirit?  I looked down at my own pale flesh, my brown skin more ashen than usual.  My nails still ragged from constant nervous energy. 
“It isn’t fair, really,” Ned started.  He was looking hard at me.  I stared at the pond, stuffing my hands beneath my thighs.  Ned looked away and said, “I always seem to go back.  They bring me back each time.  I never stay gone long.”

I nod as if I understood, “Do you have people waiting for you?”
Ned smiled and quietly said, “I sure hope so.”

“But you know,” said Ned loudly, “this is the first time I’ve arrived here first.  Always there’s a soul here before me. “
“How many times have you been here before?”

Ned shook his head, “No telling, at least five times that I can recall.”
“Learned anything from those times?  Maybe there’s a reason you keep coming back?”

Ned's eyes found me again.  I can tell by now he had observed the buzzed cut, the crisscross scars stitched onto my wrist, and made his own assumptions about the light blue hospital gown.  Everyone had their ideas.  They all jumped and no one really knew.  Not even me sometimes. 
Ned's head bobbed as if he had answered some large universe question.  The wrinkles near his eyes folded swallowing an age spot.   With his head pivoted toward me and his eyes staring just above my forehead he leaned toward me and shared his answer.    

“You can never have too many second chances.”
I spoke with Ned for hours, sometimes silence found us drifting on the impossible when Ned announced, “it’s time.”  He patted me on the shoulder and got up from the bench.  His body creaked and he had troubling steering his body against gravity.  I helped as much as I could but Ned smiled and waved me back to the bench.  The sky was overcast as a light mist came down. 

When I turned back around Ned was gone. 

Hours later I awoke from my hospital bed, skin clammy, and her hand clinging to mine.  I thought about Ned.  It really wasn’t fair.  But it was good enough.

Friday, January 2, 2015

52 weeks / 52 short stories Challenge

Even though I've written several full length novels and short stories I like the idea of this challenge.

So I'm tacking this onto the third tier of resolutions thus having it as a goal but not a major one. 

To reiterate my resolutions are shaping out as:

1.  Final Draft of a project (MD, TYW, or OTTM)

2.  Read 36 books (3 books / per month goal)
3. Create 1 piece of art
4. Write 100 words per day
5. Travel to a new city

6. Take a language course
7. Take a dance class (preferably tap)
8. Practice on my piano (4 hr/month)
9. Learn more about music production/book some studio time at the library
10. Take and complete some new online courses (minimum 2)
11. Participate in a marathon
12. Workout twice a week
13. 52 Short Stories Challenge

I almost feel like I should just go up to 15.  I know another resolution I have that I haven't voiced is to update this blog everyday.  We'll see how that goes. 

Thursday, January 1, 2015

2015 Resolutions

At some point I need to review which of the 2014 resolutions I completed because I did get through some, but definitely not all. 

For this year I'm keeping it simple.  My one true resolution for this year will be- and by not completing this resolution will be absolutely earth shattering- to get one novel in final draft form.  I think I have an idea which novel it'll be but there are two projects I'm working on simultaneously hoping it'll be the 'one'. 

So my new year resolution will be to get either

1.  MD in final draft form
1. TYW in final draft form
1. OTTM Book 1 in final draft form

Besides breathing, living, being a good daughter, aunt, niece, friend, etc to those important people in my life I will be hard at work on these.

But I'm me and so it will not be my only resolution but these, that follows, will be secondary resolutions that unlike the above will not shatter the earth.  Sooooo....

2.  Read 36 books (3 books / per month goal)
3. Create 1 piece of art
4. Write 100 words per day
5. Travel to a new city

There are other things I'd like to do for the year like take a language course, take a dance class (preferably tap), practice on my piano (4 hr/month), learn more about music production, book some studio time at the library, take and complete some new online courses, participate in a marathon, workout twice a week, and maybe some other random things.  I'll guess I'll post about those things as they become relevant but mostly I've identified the ONE important thing. 

I have other writing projects I'd like to touch this year like WL, FG, FY, and the Zombie novel but I have not put those on the hit list because what's important for me to accomplish this year involves seeing through one.  Just one. 

I can do this. 

2014 The End...

Dear 2014,

You kind of sucked.  No, well, you did suck.  I don't remember if there ever was such a year that I felt so uncomfortable.  But maybe that's just comes with aging.  But you, 2014, were quite the cluster.  You forced my hand in some ways. 

In January you let me know my new job was in jeopardy.

February my super crappy Blackberry finally kicked the bucket after I dropped it for the umpteenth time.  Much to the pleasure of others who thought I was overdue for a new phone.  Fine, maybe you did me a favor there 2014 but then February was also when I got an offer at Purina, FINALLY, 6+ years later, only for that offer to be rescinded due to my own bad timing.

But I wasn't happy, so maybe that was another favor.  Perhaps it was even meant to be because that job would not get posted again.

In March I turned 29, uneventful, at least nothing I can remember.  Oh wait, zombie novel.  Think this idea came to me then or maybe in February.  Either case I had a new novel idea. 

April... APRIL!  Well my car crapped out on me.  I got the boot from my apartment and my last day at Purina was on Good Friday.  Yep, it was a good Thursday because that was my actual last day.  Good Friday was when I discovered I had a month to be out of my apartment. 

But you know, that apartment needed some attention and I needed more space given it was no long just me there.  So again maybe I needed a nudge there.

And I wasn't incredibly happy with my job.  In fact it was probably the first time I'd ever felt so lousy.  So hey, okay, 2014 I'll give that one to you too.  You broke me in April though, maybe a little in May 2014,  I cried many times.  Being a controlling son-of-a-gun is quite the trip when you start feel you have so little of it.  When you think you've done everything right, or at least tried to, and somehow you find yourself not having made a dent in this wondrous thing called life.  Yeah... that wasn't a fun time. 

In May, found a new place, woo hoo.  Someone listened because the new place was conveniently close Metrolink station and the bus line I'd become familiar with.  It was bigger, cost more, BUT I'd did it.  In less than a month and a huge hit to my savings I was moved into my new place. 

June I put a good chunk of my money into Pinky, for one last hurray, hoping she'd pull through.  She did not. 

In July me and Purina hooked up again ;)  Re-wrote about 40k of MD (yay!). 

In August I participated in the Warrior Dash and survived. 

In September I got another job offer. Me and Purina parted ways again but at least I was there to learn something about myself.  To discover what I like.

October - December:  Life at Wells Fargo.  And again I find myself in that place of job in jeopardy where I must apply for a FT position.  I have applied as of 12/26.

So in closing, 2014, you did suck a bit but you also gave me a sort of freedom that I have struggled with and that's letting go.  As the shots fire into the air here in the Midwest signaling a new year.  2014 thanks for being such a sucky year.  But thanks for happening the way you did all the same.  Because I did make it through you after all. 


P.S. Thanks for the last minute new novel idea.  You gave me two new novel ideas this year and a plethora of supporting items for ideas already started.  Okay, so maybe you weren't so sucky -_-.